Updated: April 25, 2010 9:53 PM
About Greg Miller
Greg Miller is a syndicated Christian columnist who lives in Northeast Tennessee.
Rays of Son is a weekly Christian humor column that is available by email each week to general interest and Christian newspapers, e-zines, Web sites, magazines, newsletters, etc.
The columns are available to churches, which may print the columns in their church bulletins, or simply make copies for distribution to the people in their congregations. Businesses may also print the columns in their company newspapers, magazines, newsletters, etc., or print out the column from their e-mail and make copies for distribution to employees.
Using Bible characters, characters that he creates, and seasonal characters, Greg uses the short story format to motivate and/or entertain his readers (hopefully with a bit of humor) in a number of areas.
Publications which are interested in running the Rays of Son column are asked to submit a request for a sample column.
Greg works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in Tennessee, and is a regular columnist for that newspaper. He also writes a similar column for another newspaper in the area.
Greg is also available to share the Christian Creativity Seminars. The seminars are designed to let Christians know that God has blessed them with abilities and, once they realize that fact...they are responsible to use those talents for the glory of God. Greg is also available for puppet ministry.
For a sample Rays of Son column, or to contact Greg about the puppet ministry, seminars or other speaking engagements, please e-mail kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com. The Web site for the syndicated column is http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
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Rays of Son column for the week of March 21, 2010
Baseball player says Jesus
is life’s greatest power hitter
By Greg Miller
Brodie and Braxton were twin brothers who played in a baseball league which highlighted the potential of players who were twins.
Brodie was the team’s star first baseman, and Braxton was the team’s backup catcher. The boys were always offering support and encouragement to each other, while thinking about the team’s success.
At their local church, the twins played on the Church Baseball League team. Teams in the league only played one game each week, due to the congregation’s many other ministries.
Both Brodie and Braxton had decided to pursue careers as professional baseball players. “Just make sure you pray about it and follow God’s leading,” said Bernice, their mother.
“That’s right,” said Barkley, the boys’ dad. “You’ll always do fine in life if you allow God to lead you according to His plans.”
Brodie and Braxton attended the church’s Youth Baseball Sunday School Class each week and, as Easter drew closer, their attention became more focused on the life of their savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. Their teacher, Bertram, asked all of the boys to give a brief oral report about the impact Jesus had made in their lives.
Brodie told the class that Jesus had helped him to focus more intently on his homework. “I just pray and ask the Lord to help me concentrate on the process to get the correct answers to my math questions,” he said.
Braxton said the Lord helped him realize the importance of obeying his parents. “I won’t always be a kid,” he reasoned. “One day, I’ll want to have a family of my own, and I’ll want my children to obey and respect me!”
Bertram complimented everyone for sharing their faith. “As long as you live, you’ll be asked to tell others about your love for God,” he remarked.
Brodie raised his hand and asked for permission to address the class. “As you all know, Braxton and I play baseball in two different leagues,” Brodie said. “And we hope to become major league baseball players.
“I’ve been thinking about Jesus being the savior of the world and about His love for each of us. And I’ve made an observation. Jesus came into the world as the perfect sacrifice. He was born of a virgin, lived a sinless life, performed miracles, was crucified and died on the Cross, was buried and resurrected, and will soon return.”
“Do you have any other observations?,” asked Bertram.
“Just one,” said Brodie. “Jesus is alive and well. In baseball terminology, Jesus was the biggest all-time power hitter in the game of life. Not only did He die on the Cross, he is now living forever for all of us to tell others about it!”
Braxton chimed in, “When he arose from death, he hit the biggest home run in the history of the world!”
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of March 14, 2010
God the Creator knows
exactly what He’s doing
By Greg Miller
Charlotte was looking forward to the birth of her first child, her daughter, Carletta.
Charlotte loved to play basketball, and she and her friends played against another ladies team every afternoon after they got off work.
Charlotte was her team’s top scorer, averaging 22 points per contest. Cindi, the other team’s leading scorer, averaged 24 points per game. The two young ladies usually put on quite a show, dazzling the crowds with their shooting prowess.
Chondra, a friend of Charlotte and Cindi, encouraged them to develop the abilities with which God had blessed them. “You should begin a brand new women’s professional basketball league,” Chondra said. “You’ll be able to take your talent to a new level, while helping other young ladies become pro basketball players.”
“Starting a new league will take many millions of dollars,” said Cindi, “And we have no money.”
“I have a plan,” said Chondra. “We’ll play a series of exhibition games for about a year. By then, we should have enough cash to officially start the league.”
Carletta decided to join the conversation. “Hi, Mom, it’s me…Carletta,” said the unborn infant.
“Well, hello, Sweetheart,” said Charlotte. “I didn’t know you could speak to me like this. You haven’t even been born.”
“Exactly, Mom,” said Carletta. “But as you can tell from this conversation we’re having, I’m very much alive and well.”
Carletta told her mother that she would like to participate in the proposed new women’s pro basketball league.
“I can give you a little kick, so you know when to shoot the ball,” Carletta said. “Or I can do a somersault if you need to soar for a rebound.”
“You seem to have quite a head on those little shoulders of yours,” said Charlotte.
“Yes, I must say that the Lord has blessed me abundantly with the ability to think,” said Carletta. “And after I’m born, I plan to use that talent to serve Him.
“I plan to be a professional athlete,” said Carletta. “And after my basketball days are over, I want to work as a teacher in a Christian school. I want to teach creation and tell kids all about the wonders of the Universe and about the God who created everything.”
“You mean things like the planets, stars, solar systems and galaxies?,” asked Charlotte.
“Yes, Mom, all of those things,” said Carletta. “And there’s something I’d like to thank God for that most people never even think of.”
“What’s that, Dear?,” asked her mom.
“I know that God created all the planets, stars, galaxies and all of the other beautiful things in Outer Space,” said Carletta. “And after spending the last few months in the nice, cozy womb, I discovered that He also does a great job of creating all of the wonders of Inner Space, too!”
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of March 7, 2010
Pre-teen friends decide
to run for public office
By Greg Miller
Four 12-year-old friends decided they would all run for public office when they grew up.
“I’m going to run for president,” said Travis. “I can’t wait to sit in the Oval Office, ride in Air Force One, and travel around the world solving problems for the people who need America’s help.”
“You’ll be able to help lots of young people get a great start in life by your example and by your enthusiasm,“ said Tony. “And since you’re a Christian, you’ll be able to share your faith in God with the whole country.”
“Thanks, Tony,” said Travis. “By the way, what elective office are you going to run for?”
“I’d like to run for governor,” said Tony. “I want to work with the legislature and business leaders to create jobs and help the people of the state realize that God is the supreme ruler of the universe.
“All four of us know that God is in control, and that’s another reason that I want to run for governor. I want to be able to share God’s love with everyone in the state.”
“Since the animal control officer in this county is an elected official, I plan to run for that office,” said Tucker. “I want to run for animal control officer because I love animals so much. In that position, I’ll be able to work with the animal shelter to help find good homes for many of the animals. Plus, I’ll be in a position to share my faith in Christ. So it should be a very rewarding career.”
“You’re really thinking seriously about running as the county’s animal control officer?,” asked Travis.
“I sure am,” said Tucker. “And if I’m elected, that means God has opened that door of ministry to me.”
Tiffany announced that she had not decided on a specific political office to pursue. “I could run against Tucker for the animal control position, but I wouldn’t want to compete against him. I could run to represent my district of the city on the city commission, but I don’t like the idea of being interviewed by radio and TV stations and newspapers.
“I could run for any of the local political offices that will be available in the next election, but I’m thinking about changing my career plans.”
As her cell phone rang, Tiffany told her friends, “I may decide to become a professional diner, because I love to dine in the finest restaurants.”
“Tiffany, this is your mom,” said Tabitha. “Come on home. It’s time for dinner.”
“Okay, Mom,” said Tiffany. “Goodbye.”
Tiffany began jogging down the road toward her house. “Where are you going?,” asked Travis.
“My mom just called to tell me dinner is ready,” said Tiffany. “I have to run home and eat dinner before I can continue this conversation about running for public office!”
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of February 28, 2010
Members of animal kingdom see
need for attitude adjustment
By Greg Miller
Several members of the animal kingdom met in the center of the forest to discuss each other’s faults.
Kang A. Roo complained to Stink E. Skunk about a certain odor that the little black-and-white critter occasionally shared with everyone.
“You must do something about that terrible smell,” said Kang. “It’s polluting my air space.”
“You’re always hopping mad about something,” said Stink.
“Yeah,” agreed Dear the Deer. “ And we think you need a slight attitude adjustment.”
“What sort of an attitude adjustment do you have in mind?,” asked Kang.
“Oh, nothing too severe,” said Stink. “I think we should have you spell out ‘My attitude needs adjusting’ in the dirt 500 times.”
Several other animals joined the discussion and aired their own ideas for changing Kang’s attitude.
Buzz Ard dropped in to look for a snack that she was hoping had fallen on the ground. Overhearing the conversation, she suggested that Kang could change his attitude by doing a good deed for at least one animal every day. “If you’re thinking of others, you won’t be thinking of yourself as much,” she said. “And that may result in a transformation of your attitude.”
“I have an idea,” said Stripe the Tiger. “I think you should spend a whole day walking around the forest looking for animals that are wounded. You can take them to the animal hospital. You’ll gain a fabulous feeling on the inside, and I think your attitude will be changed, too.”
Goe Ferr was the next animal to offer a solution to Kang’s problem. “My idea is for you to give some of your Animal Forest Animal Kash to help repair the Animal Forest Elementary School,” said Goe Ferr.
Kang felt he had heard enough ideas to rehabilitate his attitude. “I’ve had a very long day, and I’m going home, have a relaxing dinner and go to bed,” he said. “But I’ll listen to one more suggestion before I leave.”
Leopard was eager to make her voice heard. “I have a question and a suggestion,” she said. “My question is, ‘Do you really want to change?’”
“Well, I don’t really see that my attitude is a very big problem, so I don’t plan to change it much anytime soon,” Kang replied.
“Then it will do no good to share my suggestion, because as I know very well, it is impossible for a leopard to change its spots, so I guess it‘s impossible for a kangaroo to change a hopping-mad attitude,” said Leopard.
“OK, I may need a very small attitude adjustment,” Kang admitted. “But since all of you seem to be so concerned about my attitude, I think your attitude needs an attitude adjustment!”
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of February 21, 2010
Watch your aim when
Throwing verbal darts
By Greg Miller
Ramsey and Rose were teenagers who lived in a huge metropolis where some teens were known for hurling insults at visitors, relatives, friends, enemies and everyone else. Sometimes they even stood in front of the mirror and called themselves names.
Rose and Ramsey, who had known each other since kindergarten, especially enjoyed throwing verbal darts at all the senior citizens and young children they met.
The two friends became known as the Verbal Dart Throwers Club. They enjoyed throwing those fiery darts so much that they held a special meeting to come up with an idea that would greatly enhance their evil efforts.
Rose considered herself the leader of the club, and Ramsey seemed content to play along with that notion. During the meeting, Rose suggested a drastic change in their mode of operation. "Instead of continuing to toss verbal darts at everyone, why don't we begin saying nice things?," she asked.
"Where did you get such an idea?," asked Ramsey. "Aren't you afraid our reputations will be ruined by such a big change in the way we do things?"
"Absolutely not!," exclaimed Rose. "That's the beauty of the plan. People will be so shocked that they won't know what to think. Then when everyone thinks we've become goody-goody, we'll just go back to our old ways."
"When do you want to start this new and improved plan?," asked Ramsey.
"The sooner the better," said Rose. "I can't wait to see how well this little scheme works."
The next afternoon after school, Ramsey and Rose met at their local mall, their usual location for verbal dart hurling. As they were walking into the mall, Ramsey taped a piece of paper to the back of Rose's jacket.
Rose walked up to a man named Ron, flashed her most charming smile and said, "Good afternoon, Sir. That's a very beautiful tie you're wearing."
Without waiting for a reply, Rose bounced over to a woman named Rexanna, who was pushing a baby carriage. "Your baby has the most beautiful red hair," Rose said.
Rexanna replied, "You can't fool me with your goody-goody act. I've seen you here on numerous occasions, and I've observed you when you were being yourself...not putting on an act!"
"How did you know that I'm putting on an act this time?," inquired Rose.
"Because someone wrote a message on the back of your coat...It says 'ACTRESS,'" said Rexanna.
Rose realized that Ramsey had played a trick on her. "I'm really going to try to stop throwing those verbal darts," she said. "Sometimes they have a tendency to hit you instead of the person you're aiming at!"
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of February 14, 2010
The Sovereign Lord is in
charge of climate change
By Greg Miller
Blizzard 2010 was a small city in the Land of Virtual Winter, USA.
Many cities and towns in the Land of Virtual Winter had seen so much snow that even the residents who loved the white stuff were ready for a reprieve.
The Blizzard 2010 City Council, which met on the second Friday of each month, decided to consider an ordinance forbidding snow, freezing rain or sleet to fall inside the city limits for the remainder of the winter.
Councilman Snowz Grate was the first to speak in favor of the ordinance. “Fellow citizens, we’ve had entirely too much snow this winter,” he said. “I have so much snow at my house that the last bunch of snow flurries started talking among themselves. They were complaining that they were working much harder than this winter’s raindrops.”
“I have more than one hundred cattle on my farm, and they were mooing among themselves,” said Councilman Daree Farmur. “They said the amount of snow, combined with the extremely cold temperatures, was making their lives utterly unbearable.”
Councilman Snow E. Rhoads said the town had used nearly all of its winter salt supply. “So there will be no salt to take care of the streets during the additional accumulating snows that are heading in our direction,” he said.
Councilman Snowz Grate then asked if anyone from the community had additional comments.
SnowCreme D. Zert stood and walked to the podium in the center of the council chambers. “Members of the council, you will be making a huge mistake if you pass the proposed ordinance,” she said.
“It will be a mistake because even if the ordinance passes, the blizzards, blowing winds and arctic temperatures can still come into town. Wind, rain and snow are not subject to our laws.”
“They can’t be subject to our laws now because we have no laws governing bad weather and climate change,” stated Councilman Snowz Grate. “But after we pass the ordinance, they will be required to obey the law, and they must never again enter Blizzard 2010.
The Lord was observing the city council session from his throne, from where He controlled the rain and snow, hot and cold temperatures and whatever climate change He deemed necessary. “I’d like to make one thing perfectly clear!,” said the Sovereign Lord.
“The Blizzard 2010 City Council has no jurisdiction over the weather or the climate!,” exclaimed the Lord. “And I’m the only weather forecaster with a 100 percent accuracy rating.”
“Why are you always so accurate?,” asked Councilman Daree Farmur.
The Sovereign Lord replied, “Because not only do I predict the weather, I decide what it is going to be!”
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of February 7, 2010
Tasty Valentine’s Day candy
too good to keep to yourself
By Greg Miller
Happi Valin Tine was smiling from ear to ear.
Valentine’s Day was her favorite holiday, and it made her feel so good that she turned all holidays into Valentine’s Day celebrations.
Happi cut Fourth of July hamburgers and thick slices of Thanksgiving Day turkey into heart-shaped treats.
Happi’s boyfriend, Hapey Va Lentine, appreciated Valentine’s Day as a holiday, but he was not interested in celebrating the holiday 365 days a year. But since he realized the importance of the day to Happi, he went out of his way to make sure she had a wonderful day on Valentine’s Day.
Boxed, store-bought chocolates were not good enough for Happi, so Hapey spent many hours in his kitchen preparing delicious and heavenly holiday chocolates for his sweetie. He used the best ingredients, including fresh nuts, berries and peaches, along with the finest, more healthy, dark chocolate.
Hapey didn’t just give one box of homemade candy to Happi. He gave her a small box of chocolate for every day of the year. Hapey also spent a week creating an oversized Valentine’s Day card for Happi. He drew a cartoon robin on the front of the card to symbolize spring and the freshness of his love for her.
On the inside of the card, Hapey wrote the following: Happy Valentine’s Day, Hope you have a great time, hope you like this little rhyme. It is just a little sign, I want you for my valentine. All my love to Happi from Hapey.
Happi was thrilled to see all of the candy boxes, and she flashed her trademark ear-to-ear smile when she read the card. “Thanks for these thoughtful expressions of your love,” she said, planting a firm kiss on each of his cheeks.
“I love you a lot, so each moment I spent making the card and the candy were expressions of my love for you,” Hapey said.
“Will you compose and sing a little song for me right now?,” asked Happi.
“All right, here goes, “said Hapey. “My girl is, oh, so swell. She sweeps me off of my feet. Her love can’t be beat. I can only think to say, ‘Happy, Happy Valentine’s Day.’
“You have such a way with words,” said Happi. “And you are so romantic.”
“I do try,” Hapey smiled.
Hapey loved the Lord, so on all of the boxes he wrote, ‘God loves you.’ Happi picked up one of the boxes and popped a single piece of chocolate into her mouth. “This is the best candy I’ve ever tasted,” she declared. “But could you do a favor for me? Next year, will you please put two pieces of candy into each box? When someone has candy that tastes this good, it’s a sin not to have a piece to share with someone else!”
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of January 31, 2010
Dude ranch bans texting
while horseback riding
By Greg Miller
The Jesus Loves Everyone Christian Dude Ranch prided itself in making all of its visitors as comfortable as possible.
The ranch allowed guests to bring radios, TVs and other electronics with them.
"We encourage our guests to bring their Christian CDs, movies and other praise-and-worship tools," said Tex, the ranch's foreman. "We want everyone to grow closer to the Lord, and these types of things can help us to accomplish that goal."
Guests were permitted to share a bunkhouse with their pets. "It's purr-fectly fine to bring your cat with you," said Rex, the manager of the "People and Their Pets Department.”
"And your precious pooch, too," agreed Lex, Rex’s assistant.
The ranch boasted a wonderful restaurant, which specialized in custom-ordered meals. The motto of Rexanna, the manager, was “A happy visitor is a well-fed visitor!"
The ranch, however, banned cell phone use while horseback riding. "It's too dangerous," reasoned Tex.
Roy and Roberta had been engaged for more than one year before they were married. They both loved old western movies and horses, so they decided to visit Jesus Loves Everyone Christian Dude Ranch on their honeymoon.
The couple arrived at the ranch, ate supper and turned in for the night. Roy and Roberta awoke at 5 a.m. After eating a huge breakfast, they went to one of the ranch's many corrals and selected the horses they wanted to ride down the Honeymoon Trail.
Roy was riding an appaloosa named "Appy," and Roberta was aboard a palamino named "Pallie."
The hours went flying by, because Roy and Roberta were having so much fun. About an hour before supper, the couple decided to return to the restaurant for a relaxing meal.
"I'll race you back to the restaurant," said Roy.
"First one back has to buy supper," grinned Roberta, as she spurred "Pallie" into a gallop.
"Pallie" heard a faint unusual noise, and the horse reared up on his hind legs, throwing Roberta to the ground.
Prior to being unceremoniously dumped on the trail, Roberta had used her cell phone to text Roy, “I love you.” The sound of Roberta's thumbs against the cell phone's keys had spooked the horse.
Roberta's minor injuries were treated at the ranch's mini-hospital. "You'll be fine," said Dr. Renee.
The ranch, as a result of Roberta's accident, decided to change its cell phone usage policy. Realizing that cell phones could come in handy to call for help, Tex decided that the official policy of only using cell phones after guests had retired for the evening would undergo one minor change.
The foreman chuckled as he told Roy and Roberta that the policy would include the following statement: "You may have your cell phone with you while horseback riding only if you know ahead of time that you're going to have an emergency!"
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of January 24, 2010
Big city physician, village
doctor join forces
By Greg Miller
Both Village Doc and BigCity Physician wanted their patients to experience health care of the highest quality.
Big City Physician and Village Doc met for lunch every Friday. Their favorite restaurant was the PhysicianDoc VeinArtery Café, which specialized in heart healthy cuisine.
At every opportunity, Village Doc and BigCity Physician promoted the PhysicianDoc VeinArtery Café. They talked to their peers about the restaurant and spoke to various school groups about the importance of eating a healthy diet.
During one of their Friday luncheons, Village Doc and BigCity Physician discussed the possibility of combining their careers. “You offer big city technology, and I can add the touch of the country doctor,” said Village Doc.
“I like the concept,” said BigCity Physician. “It would be neat to see fewer patients.”
“I know of a small office in my town that is for rent at a reasonable price,” said Village Doc.
“If we open a new practice, we’ll have to close the offices we have now,” said BigCity Physician. “We must give our patients adequate time to find new physicians.”
“Yes, that is certainly the right thing to do,” said Village Doc.
“How many people live in this little town of yours?,” asked BigCity Physician.
“About 400,” said Village Doc.
“That’s not very many people for a two-physician office,” said BigCity Physician. “Only a few of them will be sick at one time. That could present a real problem.”
“Not really,” said Village Doc. “There are several other small towns within a 50-mile radius, and none of them have physicians. We would be serving about 25,000 people.”
“Since we do want to serve as many people as possible, why don’t we open a business that will help keep people well, too?,” asked BigCity Physician.
“That’s a mighty fine idea!,” exclaimed Village Doc. “We can open a wellness center, complete with a basketball court and exercise equipment. We can also sell nutritional products.”
“I have another bright idea!,” said BigCity Physician. “Why don’t we open a facility for the dogs owned by all of our new patients? We can open a medical clinic for them, as well as a park where their owners will pay to allow them to run around all day. We can also sell nutritional supplements for the dogs.”
Both doctors, who were Christians, then decided to offer a little spiritual health to their future patients. They agreed to build a chapel adjacent to their new medical office.
The doctors had gotten so carried away with their conversation that time slipped away from them. Looking at his watch, BigCity Physician exclaimed, “It’s 4 p.m.! We have talked most of the afternoon!
“We were so concerned with meeting the needs of our future patients that we forgot all about the patients that we were supposed to see today!”
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of January 17, 2010
Ball players discover need
for strong work ethic
By Greg Miller
By mid-February, the Church Basketball League of a small southern town was in full swing.
Several congregations, both large and small, participated in the league, which gave the players an opportunity to experience the game of basketball in a competitive setting, while building positive character traits. The league also provided an opportunity to provide spiritual guidance to the young people who played on its teams.
Coach Bass Kett Ball, who led the Winners Never Quit team, encouraged all of his players to always give their best effort. "You should strive to excel on every play," he said.
Renowned Rebounder, the team's defensive star, averaged about 20 rebounds per game. Offensive Dude (O.D.) was a prolific scorer, pumping in about 22 points per game.
Most of the time, O.D. and Renowned Rebounder lived up to their coach's expectations. Occasionally, however, Renowned Rebounder and O.D. were willing to give only about 90 percent of their 100 percent potential. After a couple of lackluster performances on the part of both players, the coach decided to give Reserve Shooter and Backup Rebounder an opportunity to start a game.
Backup Rebounder and Reserve Shooter were determined to make the most of their opportunity to start a game against the We Always Lose squad, because they wanted to show the love of Christ to other players.
Reserve Shooter was only used to playing about eight minutes a game in his backup role. He played all of the first half against the We Always Lose team, but because of his extra effort he was exhausted.
Backup Rebounder was also extremely tired by the end of the first half. His 12 rebounds set a league record for rebounds by one player in a half. That effort, along with Reserve Shooter's 18 points, resulted in a commanding 57-31 halftime lead.
Reserve Shooter and Backup Rebounder started the second half of the game and, despite giving a 100 percent effort, they just couldn't keep up the pace they maintained during the first half. The coach gave them a well-deserved rest, inserting O.D. and Renowned Rebounder into the lineup, and the well-rested duo ran the opposing team in circles and the Winners Never Quit squad whipped their opponents by a 102-72 margin.
The coach asked Renowned Rebounder and O.D. if the game had taught them any lessons about life.
"One big lesson, Coach," said O.D. "There's no excuse for not working as hard as you can."
"That's right," laughed Renowned Rebounder. "Even if you're only playing a game!"
Coach Bass Kett Ball then addressed Reserve Shooter and Backup Rebounder. "I have to give you guys credit" he said. "For a while, you were playing so hard that I was concerned about you. Even though it's only a game, I was afraid that you were going to work yourselves to death!"
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of January 10, 2010
Unborn mouse baby
testifies in church service
By Greg Miller
Francesca, the wife of the head church mouse, was expecting her first litter of little mouse babies.
The Mousetrasound image showed that Francesca was carrying a single mouse baby, a girl. Dr. Mousebirthie had told Francesca that she would never be able to conceive little mouse babies, so the fact that she was pregnant was a miracle.
She and her husband, Frederick, decided to name their baby… "Fantastic."
Pastor Cheddar Holee Cheese gave them an opportunity to tell members of the All Mice Welcome Church about their good news.
"We're delighted to announce to the congregation about the future addition to your family," said Pastor Cheddar. "I'd like for both of you to testify."
Francesca was the first to speak. "Pastor Cheddar, Frederick and I are so blessed to share our thoughts with you," she said. "My doctor told me that I would never have any mouse babies, but the Sovereign Lord of heaven says that nothing is too hard for Him.
"We have decided to name our little one 'Fantastic' after my great-grandmother, 'Granny Cheeseworthy, who made the greatest cheesecake in the world. Fantastic is going to grow up to be a fine representative of the mouse community, and we are going to train her up to serve the Lord.
"We plan to do such a wonderful job in training her that she will have no run-ins with the law, and she will be the perfect example of what a little mouse baby can grow up to be.
"It is our hope that Fantastic will work as an inventor who will invent a device that will render useless all of those mousetraps that have been invented by humans. We will never have to worry again about mousetraps."
All the mice in the congregation laughed when one of them shouted, "Until someone builds another better mousetrap!"
Corporate laughter again filled the sanctuary when Francesca replied, "Then Fantastic will just have to build a better anti-mousetrap, won't she?"
Francesca sat down, and Frederick arose to speak to the church. "Amen!," he exclaimed and then sat down.
"Does anyone else have a word to share?," asked the pastor.
Kicking and screaming, Fantastic demanded to be heard. "Mom said she and dad are naming me after my great-great grandmother because of her delicious cheesecakes," Fantastic said. "That may be part of it, but another part of it is dad's Grilled Swiss Cheese Sandwiches. Every single time he takes a bite, he says, 'Francesca, Dear, this is the best Grilled Swiss Cheese Sandwich ever. Fantastic. Simply Fantastic!'"
Pastor Cheddar observed, "This is the most unusual testimony that we've ever had from an unborn baby mouse. In fact, it's the only testimony that we've ever had from an unborn baby mouse."
"Fantastic!," Frederick said. "Simply fantastic!"
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of January 03, 2010
God’s timing is always right
By Greg Miller
Father Time had started his own professional football league, the Minutes & Seconds Pro Football Association, about 10 years ago.
He was the president of the association and, as the starting quarterback of the Superstars of the Decade team, he also was one of the league’s premier players.
Little Guy Time, the second-string quarterback of the Superstars of the Decade team, seldom got much playing time, because of Father Time’s monopoly of the quarterback position. He was handed a golden opportunity, however, when Father Time was injured while running for a touchdown and was unable to play for the remainder of the season.
Little Guy Time took advantage of the opportunity to prove his worth to his team. He became an instant success and was even looked up to as a hero. Little Guy Time enjoyed the spotlight and decided to compete with Father Time for the starting quarterback position the following season.
The competition was fierce, and Little Guy Time was picked to start the first game of the new season. “You have earned your shot as the starting quarterback,” said Head Coach Wate A Minit.
Father Time patiently waited for another opportunity return to the Superstars of the Decade lineup, but two seasons later that opportune time never materialized. He realized that it was Little Guy Time’s time to shine.
Father Time decided to start a brand new pro football league, Equal Time, Equal Opportunity Football League. “This league will offer opportunities for everyone who wants to play pro football,” said Father Time.
In the time that Little Guy Time had played in pro football games, he had impressed Father Time with his playing ability and leadership potential. Father Time knew that younger generations can make valuable contributions to a team effort, so he asked Little Guy Time to help form the league.
The duo formed a 10-team league. Father Time played for the Best of All Time Father Time Pro Football Squad. Little Guy Time played for the Little Guy’s Pro Pigskin Team.
As they began preparing for the new league’s inaugural season, Father Time and Little Guy Time thanked the Lord for their new partnership. “We appreciate being able to work together to serve you,” said Little Guy Time.
“I’m glad I was able to bring the two of you together to work as a team,” said the Lord. “I’m always hearing people say, ‘Two heads are better than one.’”
“Especially when the time is right,” chuckled Father Time. “And there is no better time than a brand new year.
“When the Lord brings people together, the timing is always right!,” grinned Little Guy Time.
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of December 27, 2009
Father Time is multi-talented character
By Greg Miller
Father Time was a very talented character, and he wanted to use all of his abilities to honor the Lord Jesus Christ.
"All of the minutes and seconds in the universe really belong to you, Lord," said Father Time. "After all, you created them.
"And as the new year arrives, I pray that you will help me to properly use the time that you give me."
Not only was Father Time able to account for innumerable minutes and seconds, he could also play the trumpet and write short stories.
As he was preparing to welcome the new year with a festive celebration, Father Time decided to write a short story to read during the event. "I'll compose a trumpet solo, too," he said.
"While I'm at it, I think I'll test another talent that the Lord may have given me. I've always wanted to be an actor. I believe I'll write a short one-act play and perform it for the audience."
Father Time enlisted the help of a trusted friend, Time Will Tell, to help prepare for the New Year's Eve party. "I'll be glad to serve as your assistant for the evening," said Time Will Tell. "What would you like me to do?"
"I'll be composing and playing a trumpet solo," said Father Time. "Would you be so kind as to hold my trumpet until it's time for me to play?"
"I most certainly will," said Time Will Tell. "If you want me to, I'll also help you compose your trumpet solo. I'm a pretty good composer, you know."
"Thanks, but I'll do that job all by myself," said Father Time. "I don't want people to think of me only as the Master of Minutes and Seconds."
Father Time asked Time Will Tell to help him write the one-act play. "The play will be about a little boy who wants to grow up to be me," said Father Time. "I need you to help me come up with a title."
"How about this…Toddler to Tackle Father Time Job…? Asked Time Will Tell.
"I like it," said Father Time. "With the talents you have, I may be utilizing those abilities in the near future."
"The Lord gave me the abilities that I have so that I could use them to honor Him," said Time Will Tell. "And that's what I intend to do every moment that I live."
"I've been thinking about the New Year's Eve celebration," said Father Time. "I would like for you to play the trumpet solo that I am composing, and I'd like for you to use my trumpet."
"Why do you want me to use your trumpet?," asked Time Will Tell.
"Because I'm not the type of guy who likes to go around tooting his own horn," grinned Father Time.
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of December 20, 2009
Santa counts his blessings
By Greg Miller
Santa enjoyed counting his blessings.
Every year during the Christmas season, Santa sat at the kitchen table and, with the faithful Santa Pen, began making a list of everything with which God the Heavenly Father had blessed him.
Santa spent about 10 hours the first week of December counting his blessings. The 2009 Christmas season was Santa's busiest ever, but he faithfully continued his annual practice of offering thanks to God.
"Sending your Son, Jesus Christ, into the world to offer a sacrifice for the sins of the whole world was the greatest act of love ever given to mankind," Santa said. "Thank you, Lord, for sending heaven's greatest treasure into this world made poor by sin.
"This time of year, my heart simply overflows with your grace and mercy," Santa prayed.
"Thank you for my beautiful and charming wife, Mrs. Santa," he told the Lord. "She's a great cook, and she can even construct a doll or a football helmet if I need her to."
Santa thanked the Lord for the beauty of summer's bright rainbows that occurred after a refreshing rain. "And the air has such a fresh smell afterwards," Santa said.
Although Santa set aside the first week of December as a special time of personal thanksgiving, he always expressed an attitude of gratitude to God.
Just before taking the Santa Sleigh to the Christmas Eve skies in 2009, Santa offered a prayer for divine protection while delivering Christmas presents around the world. "Help me as I drive my sleigh. Help me, Lord, I humbly pray."
Prayer was also a very important part of Mrs. Santa's life. She prayed that her husband would never lose his love for the children. She prayed that God would protect him as he fulfilled his annual mission of bringing Christmas cheer to everyone.
Mrs. Santa also prayed that she would continue to be able to prepare her husband's favorite foods. "He has such a passion for his work," she told the Lord. "I must feed him great meals so he will be able to serve the world, which is his parish."
Mrs. Santa thanked the Lord that there was so much ice at the North Pole. "This is such a cool place to live," she said.
Santa overheard his wife talking to the Lord. After Mrs. Santa ended her prayer with a hearty "Amen!," Santa said, "Honey, the North Pole isn't cool, it's absolutely freezing here!"
"It's cold in other places, too," said Mrs. Santa. "Just a few days ago, a blizzard made its way across several states. I think global warming must have taken a vacation."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!," laughed Santa. "One thing is for sure. I created so much energy when I visited each home that I created enough Christmas cheer to keep every heart joyfully warm until after everyone celebrates the New Year!"
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of December 13, 2009
Santa thinks of slowing down
By Greg Miller
Santa completed another day of hard work at his North Pole Workshop.
Santa stretched his arms high above his head and sounded out a loud yawn that was so vibrant it could be heard around the world.
As usual, Santa issued a hearty "Thanks, Guys!," to all of his industrious and dependable helpers. "It's a pleasure working with you," he said.
Exiting his work area, Santa headed for the Santa Home, which was just a few hundred feet from his workshop. He was so joyous about the real reason for celebrating Christmas - the birth of the Lord Jesus Christ - that he literally bounced down the well-worn snow-covered path to his home.
When he opened the front door, Mrs. Santa greeted her husband with a big hug and kiss. "I have missed you so much," grinned Mrs. Santa. "I haven't seen you since lunch."
"What's for supper, Dear?," asked Santa. "I think I must have worked a little too hard today. I'm going to eat supper, read God's account of the story of Creation in the book of Genesis and go to bed early tonight."
"For tonight's supper, I have prepared some of your favorites," said Mrs. Santa. "Let's see…there's boiled cabbage, North Pole Cornbread - frozen and topped with ice chips - chocolate-covered strawberry pie and homemade strawberry ice cream."
"You are such a great cook, Sweetheart," chuckled Santa. "And you're always cooking the foods that you know I enjoy."
The couple sat down in the cozy Santa Kitchen to enjoy a romantic candlelit Christmas dinner. After praying the blessing, they began eating. The food was extremely delicious, but Santa was so sleepy he couldn't stay awake. Between bites, he drifted off into sleep, only to be awakened by a kind, "Wake up, Santa, you haven't finished eating your supper."
Santa finally finished his supper, read the Creation story and retired for the evening. After a good night kiss, Santa and Mrs. Santa began a long and restful sleep.
The next morning, the couple awoke and, holding hands, walked into the kitchen for breakfast.
"I've been thinking about last night," said Mrs. Santa. "You know how you kept falling asleep during supper? Well, maybe it's time you cut back on some of your duties…delegate some of the things you do to those retail store Santas."
"I am very tired most of the time," Santa admitted. "Maybe for just a few years, I can do as you suggest. Then when I'm my old self again, I can pick up where I left off."
"I am grateful for one thing," said Mrs. Santa. The Lord God never needs any sleep, and He never takes a vacation."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!," Santa chuckled. "And He never even needs an energy drink to help Him make it through the day!"
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of December 06, 2009
Woman wants out-of-this-
world Christmas adventure
By Greg Miller
Lois enjoyed reading the classified section of the Sunday newspaper.
One Sunday, an ad almost jumped off the page at her. The ad read, "Wanted, several individuals for an out-of-this-world, all expenses paid, Christmas adventure. For more information, see the classified section in the next issue of the newspaper.
As Lois' husband, Larry , walked into the living room, she announced: "I saw a great ad in today's newspaper. I'm going to apply to go on a Christmas adventure. When I go to work tomorrow, I'm going to ask for a few days off work."
"You deserve a vacation, so I hope you're accepted for the trip," said Larry. "I'm sure your supervisor will give you the time off."
The next morning, Lois went to work with a smile on her face and a song in her heart. She asked her supervisor, Lira, about taking a few days off work. After hearing the reason for the request, Lira said, "Of course. You deserve it."
The week passed very slowly for Lois, who couldn't wait to see Sunday's classifieds. She excitedly turned the pages until she saw the big, bold black letters: CLASSIFIEDS.
Lois could not find the ad she was looking for. "I don't understand," Lois pouted. "Last week's ad said to see the classified section in the next issue of the newspaper.
"Maybe someone placed the ad as a joke," suggested Larry.
"I'll get to the bottom of this tomorrow when I call the newspaper," promised Lois.
On Monday, Lois called the newspaper's classified ad manager, Laura-Lee, and explained the situation. "I know what happened," said Laura-Lee. "The ad ran on Sunday and Monday. Remember that the ad stated that more information would be printed in the next issue of the newspaper. The next day was Monday."
"Monday?!," exclaimed Laura-Lee. "But since I only get Sunday's paper, I missed getting the information I needed to apply for this special experience.
"I'm sorry," Laura-Lee said. "And the ads were so successful that all of the spots on the adventure have already been filled."
"That's what I get for only buying the newspaper one day a week," said Lois. "By the way, what was this exciting adventure?"
"It really was an out-of-this-world experience," said Laura-Lee. The company that ran the ad is taking a group of people to the moon to test their idea for a new Internet social networking site."
"Wow!," exclaimed Lois. "I've wanted to visit the moon ever since I learned in Sunday school that God created the moon to rule the night."
"Don't be too disappointed, Dear," said Laura-Lee. "The company is going to run similar ads every month for the next year."
"So there's still a chance I can go to the moon!," said Lois. "Now all I have to do is get over my fear of high places!"
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of November 29, 2009
Adam and Eve visit
AmericaVille, USA
By Greg Miller
Arden and his wife, Evella, sent a special time travel letter to Adam and Eve, inviting them to a monthlong Christmas vacation in modern-day AmericaVille, USA.
When Adam and Eve arrived at Arden and Evella's home in AmericaVille, they sat down to enjoy their first home-cooked meal.
Evella had prepared some of her favorite dishes: Fresh pineapple slices drizzled with strawberry juice, soy shakes loaded with slices of fresh peaches, and baked potatoes stuffed with mushrooms and fresh spinach.
For dessert, Evella whipped up a peach, strawberry and blackberry cobbler combo. After dinner, Arden, Evella, Adam and Eve went into the parlor and told stories for several hours.
At about 2 a.m., everyone retired for a good night's sleep. For the first time, Adam and Eve slept in a real bed. "This sure is a great place to sleep," Eve said.
"It sure is," agreed Adam. "These pillows are much softer than the rocks on which we've been reclining in the Garden…maybe they're too soft."
"And the dinner was extremely delicious," said Eve. "I must ask Evella to share her recipes with me."
"We don't have all these modern conveniences like stoves, refrigerators, central heat and air or supermarkets, but I believe that God has provided abundantly for us in the Garden of Eden," said Adam.
"Very true, Dear," said Eve. "And although Evella's dinner was very delicious, it wasn't nearly as great as the fruits growing on the Garden's trees."
"The variety in the Garden is super," said Adam. "But blackberries are my favorite."
"The oranges are my favorite," said Eve. "They taste so fresh and crisp."
"Let's get some sleep," said Adam. "All this talk about Eden's delicious food is making me hungry."
"Good night, Sweetheart," said Eve. "Sweet dreams about our Home Sweet Garden Home."
The following morning, Adam and Eve decided they were ready to go back to Eden. "We're homesick," Eve told Evella. "I'm craving some of Eden's oranges."
"And I miss Eden's air that is always so fresh and pure," sighed Adam. "So, although we greatly appreciate your hospitality, we're ready to go home."
"Well, the time machine that we sent to bring you here is ready to take you back at any time," said Evella.
"There's only one catch," said Arden. "Since you agreed to stay with us for a month, if you leave before then, you must invite us to Eden for a 30-day vacation."
"That's fine," said Adam. "But I feel I must warn you, that once you are there, Eden will tug at your heart so strongly that you'll never want to leave."
"I've heard a lot about this wonderful place," said Evella. "And if it is as great as I think it is, we may just decide to stay forever!"
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of November 22, 2009
Every Day is Thanksgiving Day
By Greg Miller
Once upon a time in the Official Land of Thanksgiving, lived a man who was truly thankful for his blessings, although he occasionally experienced a bump on the Road of Life.
ThanksAlot, who was always promoting the advantages of living in the Official Land of Thanksgiving, was special to the Lord because of his attitude of gratitude.
One morning, ThanksAlot prayed, "Thanks a lot, Lord, for a good night's sleep. Thanks a lot for letting me live in a free country. And thanks a lot for sending Jesus Christ, your Son, into the world to die on the cross for my sins."
After breakfast, ThanksAlot walked outside, got into his car and drove to work. When he arrived, ThanksAlot ran into one of life's minor bumps on the Road of Life - someone had parked in his assigned parking space. Because ThanksAlot was considered the hardest worker at his place of employment, his supervisor had granted his request to paint his parking space his favorite color - green.
ThanksAlot parked in a space near the rear of the parking lot. "Thanks, Lord, for helping me to find this parking space, " he said. "Thanks a lot."
"You're a couple minutes late this morning," observed Alwayz Thankful, the receptionist.
"Someone else parked in my space this morning," replied ThanksAlot.
"Yes, I know," said Alwayz Thankful. "That's my car. I've been promoted to your position, so it's now my parking space. By the way, the company president, Thank U. Lord, wants to see you right away."
ThanksAlot walked down the hallway and knocked on Thank U. Lord's door. "Come in," said Thank U. Lord.
"Am I in trouble, Sir?," asked ThanksAlot. "Alwayz Thankful said she has been promoted to my job, and she parked in my parking spot."
"No, you're not in trouble," said Thank U. Lord. "You're doing such a great job of promoting our town that I am promoting you to a newly created position. You're going to be our new Officer of Public Thanksgiving. Your job will be to build an army of thankful people within our corporation.
"This army will encourage everyone else in our corporation, as well as in our great nation, to both publicly and privately, express their thanks to the Lord Jesus Christ for his continual blessings."
"We're giving you your own car, and you'll have a new indoor parking spot next to your office. You're getting a new salary of $250,000 per year.
"Thanks, Sir," said ThanksAlot. "Thanks a lot."
ThanksAlot left the building and walked to his car. He entered the vehicle, and bowed his head. "Thanks a lot, Lord, for your blessings of today," he prayed.
"You're welcome, ThanksAlot," replied the Lord. "I appreciate your heart of thankfulness and praise. Thanks for your continued faithfulness to me every day. Thanks, my child. Thanks a lot!"
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of November 15, 2009
North, South, East, West
experts at giving directions
By Greg Miller
When it came to giving directions, North, South, East and West all considered themselves experts.
East specialized in showing people the way to popular destinations east of the Mississippi River. West had a ball giving directions to all of the professional baseball and football stadiums west of the Mississippi. South became a household name in his part of the country by showing all of his clients great "southern hospitality" and by sharing free generous portions of "homemade southern cookin.'"
South, East and West all thought North was cool because of her pleasant personality and because her part of the country tended to be rather chilly in the wintertime.
Over the years, the foursome became good friends. They even helped each other with directions when the need arose.
Evan, one of East's regular clients, and Wally, who frequently used West's services, decided to throw a surprise party for the four to show their appreciation.
"East is always very accurate with his directions," said Evan. "And he always does his job with a smile."
"West is a no-nonsense guy who insists that he gives me accurate directions," said Wally. "He even calls me after I reach my destination to make sure that there were no complications."
Plans for the party were completed, and many of the most important clients of all four Directions attended the gala.
Wally asked each of the honored guests to share a short speech with the attendees. "Just tell us how important you feel your contribution is to the country," said Wally. "You know…which of you is the most important Direction?"
East was the first to take the stage. "I cannot overstate my value to this foursome," he said. "As we all will agree, I am the most patriotic of the Four Directions."
"But I share directions to many important sports venues in the western part of the country," said West. "And sports is such an important part of the life of our nation today."
"Don't forget that I'm the one who shares all the super southern hospitality and mouth-waterin' cookin' that I have become so famous for," said South.
"Okay, let's ask the audience to vote on which one of us is the most important of the Four Directions," said East.
"Hold on just a minute!," exclaimed North. "Don't I get to share the reason that I feel I'm the most important Direction?"
"Oops! I almost forgot about you!," said East. "What's your reason?"
"It's really very simple," said North. "When I run into a problem providing directions for my clients, you guys are always willing to help if you can. And I can always ask God for help. It's the easiest thing in the world, because I'm always looking up!"
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of November 8, 2009
Learn to drive before
taking to the highways
By Greg Miller
Audra walked a few blocks to visit her local automobile dealer to look into the possibility of purchasing a new car.
Allen, the car salesman, approached Audra and, with his friendliest, most charming smile, said, "Good morning, Miss. Welcome to our new car showroom."
"Good morning, Sir," replied Audra. "This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it, so it's a great day.
"I'm looking for a new car today. I want a bright yellow car with a dark black convertible top. The interior must be a bright orange, the tires must be lime green and they must be guaranteed for 100,000 miles."
"Those requirements will be no problem at all," said Allen. "If you would like other special considerations, just let me know what they are."
"As a matter of fact, there are a few other amenities I'm interested in," said Audra. "I want free oil changes for as long as I own the car, someone to come to my home once a week to hand wash the vehicle, free car insurance in the unlikely event that I'm involved in a traffic accident, and an all-expense paid vacation to my favorite destination: China."
"What do you like so much about China?," asked Allen.
"I went to China on a mission trip several years ago," replied Audra. "That trip totally revolutionized my concept of missions. That's the reason for my request for an all-expense paid trip there."
"If I honor all of these requests, I won't make a single penny in profit on this sale," said Allen. "But for some reason, I feel that the Lord is directing me to grant your wishes."
"Thanks so much," said Audra. "When I go to work tomorrow, I'll tell all my friends about how honest and helpful you were today. I'll tell them that you care about more than just selling a car."
"My business has been struggling a bit lately, due to the bad economy," said Allen. "If you're able to steer a few customers my way, I would surely appreciate it."
"I'm happy to do it," said Audra. "You know, it seems like the Lord is blessing both of us as a result of my trip here today. By the way, I do have one other favor I'd like to ask of you."
"Now what is it?," laughed Allen. "Do you want free gasoline for as long as you own the car?"
"No," chuckled Audra. "Just for the first month. Actually, I was going to ask you if you know of a good driving school."
"A good driving school?"
"Yes, I need to take driving lessons before I begin driving my new car," Audra said. "Because I've never driven a single day in my life!"
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of November 1, 2009
Ninth-grader tackles writing
assignment at the last minute
By Greg Miller
Chaldea, a ninth-grader, needed to write a book for a homework assignment.
One Friday afternoon, Chaldea positioned herself on her favorite chair and began thinking about a title for her book.
Chaldea’s mother, Chalice, walked into the living room. “What are you doing?, Chaldea?,” she asked her daughter.
“I’m writing a book, Mom,” replied Chaldea.
“But you’re just sitting there,” Chalice said. “You’re not writing anything.”
“I’m trying to think of a good title,” Chaldea said.
“Maybe I could help with that,” said Chalice. “When I was in the 12th grade, I had to write a book for a special class project.”
“You wrote a book, Mom?!,” exclaimed Chaldea. “I didn’t know you were a writer.”
“Oh, yes,” said Chalice. “As you know, I love basketball, so I wrote a book about the members of the girls’ basketball team at our school. Actually, I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember. In the first grade, I wrote a poem for a homework assignment. The teacher said we could write the poem about any topic, so I wrote a blessing prayer to the Lord.
“In fact, I can still remember that poem. I prayed the poem every day at school before I ate my lunch. It goes like this, ‘Thank you, Lord for this food. And thanks for my new shirt. Thanks for the ‘burger and the fires. And thanks for my dessert!”
“That’s very cute, Mom,” grinned Chaldea. “Maybe you can help me write a rhyming title for my book.”
“What will your book be about?,” asked Chalice.
“I’m writing a book about the experiences I hope to have during my four years of high school,” said Chaldea. “I’m writing about how much I hope all of my teachers like me and how much I hope they are impressed by my positive attitude, my punctuality, my great penmanship, my study habits and my good grades.
“I’m writing about my popularity and the large number of my friends’ phone numbers that I have in my cell phone.
“I’m writing about how much my parents are supporting me in my effort to honor the Lord Jesus Christ during my high school years.
“And I’m writing about how much the Lord means to me, how He died on the Cross for my sins, and about how much He truly loves me.
“So how about it, Mom? What rhyming title would you suggest for my book?”
“I think I can come up with a title for you,” said Chalice. “But it may take a little time.”
“Don’t take too long, Mom,” replied Chaldea. “The teacher gave us the assignment six weeks ago on the first day of school. But I kind of put off doing the assignment. So I need a title in about five minutes, because my book is due on Monday!”
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of October 25, 2009
Youngster sees the miracle
of the loaves and fishes
By Greg Miller
Seven-year-old Dave dreamed of being able to travel back in time to visit some of his favorite places and people of the Bible.
Dave longed to visit the Garden of Eden and see first-hand the paradise that Adam and Eve called home. He wanted to be there when David defeated Goliath the Giant and brought victory to Israel's God. He wanted to see the awesome beauty of the universe after creation. And he wanted to watch Jesus feed thousands of people with five loaves of bread and two small fish.
God knew how much Dave wanted to go back in time, so He told the youngster He would allow him to choose one place to visit in a special reality dream.
"I want to see the Lord Jesus feed thousands of hungry people!," Dave exclaimed. "When can I have this special dream?"
"How about tonight?," asked the Lord.
"Super terrific!," shouted Dave.
"Just be sure to go to bed about 30 minutes early tonight," said the Lord. "Your dream will be so exciting that you'll be very exhausted, so you'll need a little extra sleep."
Dave followed the Lord's direction to go to bed early, and he was soon fast asleep. In his special reality dream, he was transported to the location where the feeding of the 5,000 men, plus the women and children, occurred.
Dave realized that he was standing in the presence of Jesus. "Wow!," he exclaimed. "I'm standing next to the Son of God!"
Looking a bit more closely, Dave knew that he was watching the start of one of Jesus' more powerful miracles. Dave then saw another young man, and he noticed that he was handing some bread and fish to Jesus.
Jesus lifted His voice to the heavens, thanked the Heavenly Father for the fish and bread, and the disciples began distributing the food. Thousands of hungry men, women and children had sat down to await their meal and excitedly expressed their appreciation for the miracle that Jesus was performing.
"This is super!," exclaimed one man.
"And this bread tastes so divine that it could have been baked in the ovens of heaven," his wife agreed.
"But it couldn't have been baked by the ovens of heaven," the husband said. "That would mean that Jesus Himself is from heaven."
"This is the greatest picnic ever," said the couple's son.
"And since I'm such a great cook, you're certainly a great judge of fine cuisine," his mom replied.
Dave thought of all the fast food restaurants at which he had eaten as he bit into a piece of the tasty, piping hot fish, and he came to an instant conclusion. "Now this is the best-tasting fast food I've ever had!," he declared.
As he awoke from his dream, Dave concluded, "But from Jesus we can expect only the best!"
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of October 18, 2009
Eating utensils duel over
mealtime supremacy
By Greg Miller
Fork, Knife and Spoon realized that each of them was designed to play a certain role in the Land of EatinOpolis.
For many years, the trio worked together as a team. Occasionally, they were asked to trade places for a special job. They discovered that Fork wasn't designed to eat cereal, Knife couldn't measure a spoonful of anything, and Spoon wasn't very talented when it came to spreading jelly onto a slice of bread.
Eventually, Fork, Knife and Spoon began talking to their friends about their perceived importance.
"All our points are so shiny and sharp," Fork told his buddies. "Knife and Spoon will never have what it takes to be one of us."
Spoon rounded up his friends to discuss the situation. "Fork and Knife both believe they are our equals, and all of you know that Fork can't even hold a spoonful of cereal, and Knife couldn't snag a mouthful of buttery, creamy mashed potatoes if his life depended on it," Spoon said.
Knife told the other members of the EatinOpolis Sharp Knife Society that spoons were "very shallow" and that forks had never been properly trained in the fine art of cutting butter..
Although Fork, Knife and Spoon had their differences, they realized that they had to continue dong their jobs, so they continued to serve Human Being, who was using them. Before long, however, they renewed their Eating Utensil Conflict, this time with much more intensity. Knife issued a challenge to Fork and Spoon. "Let's have a contest to decide which of us is the most valuable eating utensil," Knife said.
"Fine!," exclaimed Fork. "But you have to be sure to let me make all of the points that I want to make."
"I suggest we meet about 30 minutes before Human Being's dinnertime," said Spoon. "That will give us a little time to rehearse our moves before the contest."
Fork, Knife and Spoon arrived at the appointed time. They practiced their fanciest moves, and soon they were ready for the contest to begin.
Human Being and his wife, Mrs. Human Being, began eating their meal. "I'm so thankful for all of God's blessings," said Human Being. "We even have these wonderful eating utensils with which to eat our delicious food."
"You are so right, Dear," said Mrs. Human Being. "But there are things that forks, knives and spoons just can't do."
Fork, Knife and Spoon were all trembling when Human Being said, "So true, so true. Without this plate which holds all of this delicious food, Fork Knife and Spoon would be totally useless!"
"If you had only asked me, I would have explained my importance to you," whispered Plate to Fork, Knife and Spoon. "I could have spared you all of this unnecessary embarrassment!"
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of October 11, 2009
Rodents squirrel away nuts
for anticipated harsh winter
By Greg Miller
The recession had not only hurt America's human population - many members of the nation's rodent community were also feeling its impact.
RoxeAnne, the hardest-working squirrel in Squirrel Community, deposited half of the nuts she collected into an account at The Squirrel Community Nutty Bank, which had recently lowered its interest rates. "I want to make sure I have enough nuts to last me through the coming winter," she told Roxie, the bank's manager. "So I'm going to start depositing half of my nuts into an account at First Squirrel Community Bank. They are increasing the interest that they are paying for nut deposits. I don't think it's wise to put all my nuts in one tree hole, if you know what I mean."
"I know exactly what you mean!," Roxie exclaimed. "Just between you and me, I have opened an account there myself! Since the recession hit Squirrel Community, everyone I know is diversifying their nut portfolio. Some of them are afraid they won't have enough nuts to last them through the winter, which I understand is expected to be the worst winter we've had in decades."
RoxeAnne began working longer hours in her effort to collect nuts. RoxeAnne was also concerned about her friends' nut supplies, so she organized "Nut Hunting Parties" to involve the entire community in a project to ensure that every squirrel survived the winter.
The parties were so successful that Squirrel Towneship, a neighboring community, decided to copy the idea. Within a matter of weeks, squirrel communities nationwide accumulated enough nuts for every squirrel in America.
The squirrels' entrepreneurial spirit resulted in so much prosperity that the recession ended. Squirrel Community Nutty Bank and First Squirrel Community Bank raised their interest rates to pre-recession levels.
Many squirrels thought RoxeAnne had provided the enthusiasm that was needed to spark the economic recovery. A close friend, Roxetta, told RoxeAnne that her efforts had made her a national heroine in the squirrel community. RoxeAnne responded, "It's really no big deal," downplaying her role in the Squirrel Economic Recovery and Stimulus Package.
"I overheard two Christians talking about a concept from the Bible called the Golden Rule, 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.' It sounded so true that I decided to give it a try. I figured if it was good enough for Christians, it had to be good enough for us squirrels!"
"I've heard that the Bible has many practical tips for daily living," said Roxetta. "The next time you hear Christians talking about life changing tips that can help our community, please let us know."
"I've already made an executive decision to do that very thing," chuckled RoxeAnne. "As you already know…I'm one very intelligent squirrel!"
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of October 04, 2009
Pastor's reputation based on
defense of the Word of God
By Greg Miller
Pastor Honist Trulee had gained a reputation throughout his local community as a very vocal defender of the Word of God.
Pastor Trulee preached regularly at his church. He also ministered on radio and TV, in nursing homes and in numerous revivals.
In preaching his sermons, Pastor Trulee left no doubt in the minds of his hearers that he believed the Bible was the inerrant Word of Almighty God. "The Bible is the authoritative Word of God the Creator, God the Redeemer and God the Miracle Worker," he thundered.
The message of the Cross, salvation through the shed blood of Christ and the drawing of men to God through the power of the Holy Spirit caused those who heard the sermons to fall on their faces before a holy and just, yet merciful God. By the thousands, people were baptized in water.
Revival fires were kindled and burned brightly throughout the city. Soon, the revival spread to neighboring communities, then throughout the state. Within a few short months, the revival had changed lives in all 50 states and had drawn the attention of the national news media. Newspapers, magazines and cable news channels all wanted to interview Pastor Honist Trulee.
The pastor wanted to share his message with as many people as possible, but he didn't feel he had the time to participate in an endless series of interviews, so he instructed his staff to set up a time when all of the news media representatives could attend a news conference. He wanted to ensure that the media had enough time to ask their questions, so he agreed to a one-time, four-hour session at his church.
Pastor Honist Trulee wanted the entire nation to hear the interview, so he insisted that all participating networks carry the interview live.
A newspaper reporter with many years experience asked the first question: "Do you really believe the Bible is the Word of Almighty God?"
"If I didn't really believe the message of the book, I would be wasting my time preaching, wouldn't I?," said the pastor.
A TV reporter asked the final question: "How many people have been converted as a result of your sermons?"
"I don't try to keep a record of the numbers," the pastor replied. "Only God knows the answer to that question."
The pastor asked if any of his congregation's members wanted to ask a question. "What if someone doesn't believe that the Bible is the Word of God?," inquired Pastor Paul, the church's associate minister.
"The Bible is the Word of God, and the Word of God is true, whether you believe it or not," answered Pastor Honist Trulee.
"Let me explain it to you this way. If it's raining outside and you say, 'I don't believe it is raining,' if you step outside, you're still going to get wet!"
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of Sept. 27, 2009
Adam and Eve not satisfied
with Eden’s perfection
By Greg Miller
Eden’s environment was perfect.
The temperature was always comfortable, the huge fruits and vegetables were intensely delicious, and the Garden’s atmosphere was permeated with the Presence of God.
Adam and Eve, however, didn’t fully appreciate Paradise. “We need some more animals here in Eden,” complained Adam. “The most fun I’ve had here was when I was naming the animals, but there are no more animals to name. I think I’ll talk to the Creator and see if He will create more fun, furry and finned friends for me to name.”
Eve agreed with Adam’s assessment that Eden’s paradise could use more excitement. “I’ll ask God if He will create some bigger and tastier fruits and vegetables,” Eve said. “My taste buds are craving something that I’ve never had before. I’ll also ask God if He will create some flowers that are more colorful than the ones we have now. I do love beautiful flowers.”
“Let’s also ask God if He will make the Garden of Eden bigger, with new places to visit and explore,” said Adam. “I think I have already seen everything here at least one million times.”
“I agree with you,” Eve said. “The animals, plants and the other things that used be so exciting have become routine.”
After God had created Adam from the dust of the earth and formed Eve from one of Adam’s ribs, the couple enjoyed walking and talking with God in the cool part of the day. Apparently at some point, that time alone with God became less important to them. At first, they only missed this special time occasionally. Before long, they reached the point of rarely conversing with God. The Lord, always the faithful God, continued to arrive daily at the appointed time and place. His heart was broken by the fact that those whom He had created in His image thought so lightly of that special time with Him.
As the hearts of Adam and his wife grew fonder of things than their relationship with God, Satan teamed up with the serpent to deeply wound the heart of God. And although Adam and Eve were no longer interested in daily face-to-face meetings with God, the Creator made them aware that they were in imminent danger.
Satan had begun talking to Adam and Eve about eating the Forbidden Fruit from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. “See how delicious this fruit looks,” he whispered to Eve. “If you eat a piece of this fruit, you’ll instantly become like God. You’ll be the wisest woman in the world!”
“Don’t listen to this intruder,” said the Creator in an even louder whisper. “I know you feel Eden should be a more exciting place, but believe me, you don’t need his kind of excitement!”
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of Sept. 13, 2009
Reporter plans interview with God
By Greg Miller
Davenport was a reporter for a newspaper in a major American city.
Dirwurd - Davenport's boss - loved his favorite writer's weekly columns. Davenport wrote about the week's top stories, gaining quotes from several of the newsmakers themselves. The column was one of the local newspaper's most popular features.
Constantly on the lookout for ways to improve the newspaper's content, Dirwurd offered a new assignment to Davenport. "Your column is a great asset to the paper," Dirwurd said. "And I want you to continue writing it for us.
"I'd also like for you to write a new column that will feature in-depth interviews with one famous person each week. You can interview anyone you wish, just keep the interviews informative and entertaining."
Dirwurd gave Davenport one month to complete his first new column. "The first column needs to be written in a way that will make our subscribers want to read the column each week," Dirwurd said.
Davenport wanted to please Dirwurd, who was a close personal friend. "Who can I interview for my first column," he asked himself. "The person must be very famous, and he or she must be an authority in his or her field."
For several days, Davenport considered a number of possible interviewees: Authors, actors and actresses, ambassadors, Senators and Congressmen, as well as numerous entertainers.
"They are all wonderful people," Davenport observed. "But my first interview for this new project must be someone who can provide our readers with an unforgettable interview."
Davenport prayed as he was driving to work each day. About two weeks after he began working on his new assignment, he came up with what he called "a brilliant" idea. "I've got it!," he exclaimed to himself. "I'll interview God!
"Dear Lord, I appreciate the fact that you hear and answer my prayers," he prayed. "Today, I have a special request. I would like to interview you for the new column I'm writing."
"I know all about your new column," replied the Lord. "And I knew you were going to ask me for an interview."
"Oh, that's right," Davenport said. "I forgot, you know everything."
"Thanks for asking me for an interview," said the Lord. "Many of my children never consult with me about anything that relates to their jobs."
"I'll probably have questions relating to a variety of subjects," said Davenport. "Things like creation, life beginning at conception, Jesus being the only way to heaven. Things like that.
"I do need to ask you one question before the interview. Would you like for me to submit the questions to you by e-mail? Some of the people I interview prefer that format."
"Thanks for asking," said the Lord. "But I don't do e-mail. I insist that all of my relationships be on an in-person, one-on-one basis. Computers are a little too programmed for me!"
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of Sept. 13, 2009
Reporter plans interview with God
By Greg Miller
Davenport was a reporter for a newspaper in a major American city.
Dirwurd - Davenport's boss - loved his favorite writer's weekly columns. Davenport wrote about the week's top stories, gaining quotes from several of the newsmakers themselves. The column was one of the local newspaper's most popular features.
Constantly on the lookout for ways to improve the newspaper's content, Dirwurd offered a new assignment to Davenport. "Your column is a great asset to the paper," Dirwurd said. "And I want you to continue writing it for us.
"I'd also like for you to write a new column that will feature in-depth interviews with one famous person each week. You can interview anyone you wish, just keep the interviews informative and entertaining."
Dirwurd gave Davenport one month to complete his first new column. "The first column needs to be written in a way that will make our subscribers want to read the column each week," Dirwurd said.
Davenport wanted to please Dirwurd, who was a close personal friend. "Who can I interview for my first column," he asked himself. "The person must be very famous, and he or she must be an authority in his or her field."
For several days, Davenport considered a number of possible interviewees: Authors, actors and actresses, ambassadors, Senators and Congressmen, as well as numerous entertainers.
"They are all wonderful people," Davenport observed. "But my first interview for this new project must be someone who can provide our readers with an unforgettable interview."
Davenport prayed as he was driving to work each day. About two weeks after he began working on his new assignment, he came up with what he called "a brilliant" idea. "I've got it!," he exclaimed to himself. "I'll interview God!
"Dear Lord, I appreciate the fact that you hear and answer my prayers," he prayed. "Today, I have a special request. I would like to interview you for the new column I'm writing."
"I know all about your new column," replied the Lord. "And I knew you were going to ask me for an interview."
"Oh, that's right," Davenport said. "I forgot, you know everything."
"Thanks for asking me for an interview," said the Lord. "Many of my children never consult with me about anything that relates to their jobs."
"I'll probably have questions relating to a variety of subjects," said Davenport. "Things like creation, life beginning at conception, Jesus being the only way to heaven. Things like that.
"I do need to ask you one question before the interview. Would you like for me to submit the questions to you by e-mail? Some of the people I interview prefer that format."
"Thanks for asking," said the Lord. "But I don't do e-mail. I insist that all of my relationships be on an in-person, one-on-one basis. Computers are a little too programmed for me!"
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of Sept. 6, 2009
Teacher loses ability to add
By Greg Miller
Mr. Countin had a major problem.
The first-grade teacher had been on the job for more than 10 years. His students loved him, and he was very committed to his work.
But one day, as Mr. Countin began teaching the math lesson, his ability to add suddenly disappeared. His ability to subtract, multiply and divide was still perfect, but his addition skills were gone.
Mr. Countin had asked the students to add 4 plus 6. The moment he asked the question, the answer was no longer in his mind.
Charisma, his most attentive student, asked for permission to ask a question. "Mr. Countin, most of the time, math is very easy for me," she said. "But for some reason, the answer to this math problem just isn't coming to me. Can you please help us?"
Not wanting to lie, Mr. Countin said, "Sorry, Charisma, my mind must be playing tricks on me, because I can't remember the answer.
"Does anyone know the answer?," he asked.
Charlena thought she knew the answer. "Is it 11?," she asked.
"I don't know," replied Mr. Countin.
"Let's try some other numbers," said Calico. "Maybe it's just the numbers 6 and 4 that is the problem."
"Okay," agreed Mr. Countin. "What's 2 plus 6?"
"That's easy," said Calico. "It's eight."
"That's right," said Charlena.
"I'll have to take your word for it," said Mr. Countin. "I couldn't remember the answer to that problem either."
"What am I going to do?," asked Mr. Countin. "If I can't remember the answers, how will I ever be able to teach first grade math?"
"You do have a bit of problem," said Casey. "It's definitely not a good sign when the students can solve math problems and the teacher can't."
"Maybe if you go home tonight and study the textbook, the answers to the problems will come to you more easily," suggested Carlos.
Mr. Countin took Carlos' advice. That evening, he spent about three hours studying the math textbook. The problem persisted, however, and the following day, he still couldn't add simple numbers.
Does anyone else have a suggestion?," asked Mr. Countin. "I really love you kids, and I want to continue being your teacher."
"Sometimes, even when I study, I can't remember some of the answers," said Calico. "Then I ask Jesus to help me. Why don't you pray and ask the Lord for help?"
"Will you pray for me?," asked Mr. Countin.
"Sure," said Calico. "Heavenly Father, please help Mr. Countin remember how to add, so he can continue to be the world's best math teacher. In Jesus' name. Amen."
"Okay, Mr. Countin," said Casey. "What's 7 plus 7?"
"Fourteen," replied Mr. Countin.
"As soon as I knew I was having problems with addition, I should have asked the Lord for help," he said. "He's one I can always count on!"
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of Aug. 30, 2009
Minister learns the true
meaning of forgiveness
By Greg Miller
Pastor Furgivv Nizz preached his morning sermon on "How to Always Forgive Your Enemies, Your Friends and Everyone Else."
"The Bible teaches us to live our lives in an attitude of forgiveness," said Pastor Furgivv. "And , we want others to forgive us when we sin against them."
The pastor continued, "I had a bad thought about Deacon Forgevnese the other day. I wished he was there so I could tell him that I don't think he is the church's favorite deacon.
"Deacon Forgevnese, I am very humbly asking you to forgive me, and I also want you to pray for me that the Lord will straighten out my thinking. How about it, Deacon, will you forgive me?"
All eyes in the congregation moved to the corner of the front row pew on which the deacon was sitting. The deacon slowly stood to address the pastor.
"Pastor Furgivv, how long have you had these feelings about me?," the deacon inquired.
"It began a few months ago," the pastor said. "At first, it was just an occasional passing thought, but in just a few weeks, it became an obsession. I've been losing a lot of sleep lately, and I haven't had much of an appetite.
"I began to realize that God wasn't pleased with my attitude. Then I decided to preach on forgiveness and use myself as an example on the importance of forgiveness. So, how about it? Will you forgive me?"
"Tell me when you're finished with your sermon, and I'll let you know then," the deacon replied. "But the fact that the Bible teaches us to forgive is an important point in your favor."
Pastor Furgivv continued with his sermon. About 15 minutes later, he announced, "Deacon Forgevnese, what's your answer? Do you forgive me?"
Deacon Forgevnese opened a brown paper bag. "Please close your eyes, Pastor," he said. "I have a surprise for you."
The pastor closed his eyes, as all of the other eyes in the congregation were fixed on the deacon. Deacon Forgevnese selected the most plump, the juiciest, nearly-rotten tomato from his bag. Since the deacon was sitting on the front pew, he only needed to toss the tomato softly to hit his target, and he didn't want to hurt the pastor. He only wanted to make sure the clergyman had learned his lesson.
"I thought you were going to forgive me," said the pastor, as he opened his eyes.
"I do forgive you," said the deacon. "But while you were completing your sermon, I sent my daughter to our house next door to get those tomatoes. I just wanted to make sure this is one lesson in forgiveness that you will never forget!"
solution!"
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of Aug. 23, 2009
Be a Part of the Solution
By Greg Miller
The New and Complete Total TV System seemed to be an answer to prayer for millions of television viewers across America.
The new system offered a very unique entertainment option to subscribers.. Each subscriber programmed his or her own TV with original channels that he or she created.
Charlotte and her husband, Carlisle, subscribed to the new system. Charlotte decided to program her five channels with Christian Romance, God's Unique Universe, Cooking with Carrots, Charlotte's News Corp, and Music Lessons for Everyone.
Carlisle was an avid sports fan, so he created sports-related channels: Fish Tales - the One that Got Away, Home Run Derby for Everyone, Carlisle's Catches - a channel featuring pro football's wide receivers, Indoor Marbles Tournaments, and My Favorite Boxers and Wrasslers.
Each Monday evening, several of Carlisle's friends ate dinner with him and Charlotte. Carlisle and his friends then watched one of his sports channels for a couple of hours.
Charlotte's friends visited on Tuesday evening. Following dinner, Carlisle retreated to the den to watch some Fish Tales. Charlotte and her friends watched God's Unique Universe, a channel telling about Creation.
Charlotte and Carlisle spent only about 30 minutes each week programming their channels. They sent e-mails to the system outlining the programming. The system used the outlines to produce the programs.
One downside to the operation was that each show was re-run at least two times during the year. For a nominal fee, however, subscribers could temporarily access other subscribers' original content.
Carlisle enjoyed watching a Christian rodeo channel, while Charlotte was into God Created Every Creature, which highlighted a different animal, bird or insect each week.
One Monday, Carlisle's friends came over for their weekly visit. Carlisle had decided to ask them for their opinions of his five channels.
"I like the Fish Tales channel," said Carman. "I get tips there for my fishing trips."
"I enjoy all the high school and college baseball players competing in the home run hitting contests," said Camelot. "It reminds me of my old college home run derby days."
"Since I'm a big football fan, my favorite channel is Carlisle's Catches," said Cain.
"I really enjoyed shooting marbles when I was a kid," said Cornelius. "So Indoors Marbles Tournaments is my favorite show."
Carroll stated that he had one issue with the system's programming. "What's the problem?," asked Carlisle.
"Your original shows are okay, Carlisle, but I don't care much for re-runs," Carroll said.
"If you don't like that aspect of the programming, why don't you sign up for some channels of your own?," asked Carlisle. " If there are issues with the system, don't be a part of the problem, start your own channels and become a part of the solution!"
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of Aug. 16, 2009
Unborn baby girl shares
with her twin brother
By Greg Miller
Marcia and her brother, Monroe, had only been conceived for about six months.
The twins’ personalities were totally different. Marcia loved to share everything …her singing ability, her ideas, her hopes and dreams…with her brother.
Monroe, however, wasn’t concentrating on the creative abilities that God had bestowed upon him. He was continually trying to copy Marcia’s singing style. Evan as an unborn baby, his voice was much lower than Marcia’s, and he preferred a high-pitched sound.
Marcia was a picky eater. She preferred fruits and veggies, while Monroe enjoyed eating anything that was edible. Monroe’s favorite foods included hotdogs, hamburgers, French fries, eggs over-easy, and biscuits with plenty of butter and jelly.
Monroe and Marcia loved singing the choruses that their mom and dad, Makayla and Max, sang during the Sunday morning worship services at their church. Marcia sang from the heart, while Monroe’s goal was to sound good.
Both Marcia and Monroe loved to snack during the services. Since she preferred fruits and vegetables, she passed along her share of meat, bread and desserts to Monroe.
One Sunday, Makayla and Max were worshipping God, as an atmosphere of praise permeated the sanctuary. Marcia and Monroe were singing along with the congregation, while being fed a constant flow of nutrition from their mom.
Between choruses, Monroe whispered to his sister: “This is the life, Sis! I can’t wait until we are born and actually begin to experience the fullness of God’s creation in the outside world!”
“I know what you mean, Little Man,” agreed Marcia. “But even in this cozy environment, we can experience the wonder and presence of God!”
Marcia continued, “I’m amazed at the miracle of conception. Just a few months ago, we were not here…then presto…we appeared.”
“Yeah, it’s almost like magic,” said Monroe.
“Oh, it’s not magic,” said Marcia. “It’s a miracle.”
As the congregation began singing the next chorus, everyone raised their hands in praise to the Lord. At the conclusion of the chorus, the church’s pastor, Minister Monty, instructed the congregation, “Please raise your right hand if God has blessed you in this past week.”
“Because she could count her blessings on her fingers and toes, Marcia raised her right hand. Monroe raised both of his hands.
“Why didn’t you just raise your right hand?,” asked his sister.
“Because I don’t know my right hand from my left hand yet,” explained Monroe.
Marcia shared a small morsel of bacon with Monroe. “Thanks for the treat, Sis,” Monroe said, as he savored the taste of one of his favorite foods.
“Monroe was still working on his bacon when the next chorus began. “Hurry up and swallow your bacon,” Marcia scolded. “You may as well learn this lesson now…it’s not polite to eat with your mouth open or sing with your mouth full of food!”
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of Aug. 9, 2009
Everyone owns a business
in BelieversTowne
By Greg Miller
Every adult in BelieversTowne owned a business.
In fact, an ordinance adopted by the BelieversTowne Council mandated that anyone over the age of 21 who did not have at least one business license must pay a fine of $1 per day that he or she did not have a license for an approved business.
Since Arte loved the outdoors, he opened “See BelieversTowne My Way,“ a service designed to show tourists all of the scenic views, wildlife and hiking trails near BelieversTowne.
Near the end of one guided tour,. Arte’s description of BelieversTowne and the surrounding area was so impressive that a young married couple, Amy and Andrew, expressed interest in the possibility of moving to the town.
“This is a lovely area,” said Amy.
“And it’s so quiet and peaceful here,” observed Andrew.
“We understand that everyone who lives in BelieversTown must own an approved business,” said Andrew.
“Yes, that is true,” said Arte. “What sort of business do you think you might want to open?”
“I’m a dentist,” said Andrew. “I plan to open a private practice, but I won’t be filling or pulling teeth. I hear that the town already has a dentist who is doing a fantastic job dealing with those problems. I’m going to concentrate on preventive measures such as proper brushing, eating a proper diet and so forth. Eventually, I’ll work myself out of a job, because all of my clients will have beautiful, healthy teeth.”
“Then you’ll have to begin another business,” said Arte. “Do you have any ideas?”
“I’m thinking of opening a lawn beautification service. Is there such a service in town?”
“No,” replied Arte. “Everyone takes care of their own lawn.”
“Then it’s a great idea for a business,” said Andrew. “If I can contract with everyone in town to keep their lawns looking beautiful, BelieversTowne can become even more prosperous than it is.”
“What do you mean?,” asked Arte.
“After I start taking care of all the lawns, everyone will have more time each week to dream up ideas for new businesses,” said Andrew.
“All of the new businesses will need bookkeeping services, and that’s what I will offer,” said Amy.
“I have one question,” said Arte. “A moment ago, we were talking about the dentist that the town already has. Eventually, with all of the healthy teeth in town, he will also be out of business.”
“I’ve already thought of that,” said Andrew. “I plan to talk to him about opening an advertising service. He can buy advertising in newspapers and on TV and radio.”
“That might not be such a good idea,” said Arte.
“What do you mean?” asked Amy.
“Nowadays, selling advertising is more difficult than pulling teeth,” laughed Arte.
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of Aug. 2, 2009
Woman tries to out-create God
By Greg Miller
Jana was a very self-confident young woman.
In fact, she was too self-confident and, occasionally, bit off more than she could chew when it came to accomplishing a task.
Looking around at her portion of the universe, Jana said, “ God did a pretty good job of creation, but I believe I can do better.”
Being All-Knowing One, God knew Jana’s thoughts. One night, after Jana had fallen asleep, God spoke to her. “Jana, I know that you think that you could do a better job at creation than I have, so I am giving that opportunity to you. Tomorrow morning at 11 a.m., I’ll meet with you, and I’ll have everything that you will need for the job.”
Jana, a deep sleeper, had awoken long enough to hear from the Lord. Before long, however, she had drifted into another restful sleep. She awoke at about 9 a.m. to prepare for her meeting with the Lord. She donned her nicest dress, made sure every hair was in place, and put on her brightest smile. “I want the Lord to see me at my best,” she said.
At the appointed time, the Lord appeared to Jana. “Good morning, Jana,” said the Lord. “I am very glad to see you today.”
“Thank you for giving me this opportunity,” Jana said. “You are a magnificent creator, and everything you have made is, indeed, very good, but I was just thinking, you know, that I could add a feminine touch to your handiwork.”
“You’re not alone,” said the Lord. “Many others feel that they can create prettier flowers, bigger mountains, and tastier fruits and vegetables, but in their enthusiasm they forget that I am the only one who can actually do it.”
The Lord handed an empty bucket to Jana. “This is the same bucket of nothing that I give to everyone when they feel that they can beat me at the job of creation,” He said. “I’ll give you five hours to show your creativity.”
Suddenly, the Lord disappeared, leaving Jana with her bucket of nothing. She felt alone and helpless, and she was able to create nothing.
Five hours later, God re-appeared to Jana. “I wasn’t able to create a single thing,” Jana said. “Not a flower - not even a weed. Not a mountain - not even a small hill or a handful of dirt.”
“And you even had more to work with than I did at creation,” said the Lord.
“When I created the world,” said God, “I had absolutely nothing. Your very generous portion of nothing was handed to you in a beautiful bright red bucket!”
“Which came in very handy,” said Jana. “Because as soon as you left five hours ago, it began raining cats and dogs. I had to use the bucket for an umbrella!”
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of July 26, 2009
Nightmares remind Jonah of
drama inside whale’s belly
By Greg Miller
Jonah was grateful that he had been given another opportunity to preach to the citizens of Nineveh.
At first, Jonah had rebelled against the call of God, who had dispatched the prophet to call citizens of that wicked city to repentance. After spending three days and nights in the belly of the whale, however, Jonah agreed to preach. But after being spit out on dry land, he preached to Nineveh, and the city’s residents repented from their wickedness. Jonah had been hoping for a different outcome; he was wishing that they would not repent and that judgment from God would fall.
Jonah began having nightmares because his vision for Nineveh was much different than God’s desire for the city. Every night, Jonah dreamed the same dream. The dream began with the prophet inside the belly of the whale. His body rubbed up against objects of various textures, and his nose breathed in the all-too-familiar odors that took away his breath.
“O, God!,” cried the prophet. “Please help me! Let me out of here!”
The heavens were silent, prompting Jonah to shout even louder, “I’m dying in here, Lord! Please help this creature to become so sick of me that he will spit me out on dry land! Help! Help! Helppppp!”
The silence from God was so loud that Jonah plugged one ear with a finger to keep from hearing the ringing he sensed in his ears. The other ear was already stuffed with a small fish.
Since Jonah was not getting a desired response from God, he decided to talk to the whale, whom he called FishyFriend. “I don’t know how long I’m going to be in here,” sighed the prophet. “But my name is Jonah, and I wound up in here because I ran from God. While I‘m here, I will call you FishyFriend, if that‘s okay.”
Much to Jonah’s surprise, FishyFriend started talking. “I know your story,” said FishyFriend. “The God from whom you ran away told me everything. You know that the way you responded to God’s call wasn’t very smart, don’t you?”
“I know it now,” said Jonah. “And if I ever get out of here, I will preach to the best of my ability, and I’ll allow God to use me for His glory. By the way, I wonder why God chose you to share this experience with me.”
“It’s actually pretty simple,” said FishyFriend. “He is the Creator, and I am one of His creations. And I have learned over the years that He is so wise that when He asks me to do something, I’m much better off if I follow his direction the first time He asks!”
As Jonah awoke from his dream, he was repeating, “I’m much better off if I follow his direction the first time He asks…the first time He asks!”
Now fully awake, Jonah exclaimed, “Why did that whale have to be so smart!?”
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of July 19, 2009
Restaurant ministers to many
homeless, low income families
By Greg Miller
Thomas and his wife, Tabitha, opened the first restaurant of its kind in their hometown.
The couple wanted to minister to the community, especially the homeless and low income citizens, so they decided to serve free meals.
Thomas and Tabitha hired a cook, Terry, who specialized in great home-cooking. Before she was hired, Terry prepared a sample meal for the restaurant's owners.
"This meal is simply delicious!," Thomas exclaimed.
"And the aroma is heavenly!," Tabitha said.
"I went to culinary school to learn how to be a professional cook," said Terry. "The Lord, however, instilled in me the desire to use that ability to glorify Him."
Tabitha and Thomas were using their savings to operate their business. Although they were rich, they didn't want to continually lose money, so they prayed that God would help them make a profit.
They knew that God answers prayer, sometimes in humorous ways.
The restaurant was closed on Sundays, because Thomas and Tabitha wanted to give Terry a day off each week. Terry had developed a super relationship with her bosses, and since Terry's parents had died in a traffic accident several years before, she considered herself Tabitha and Thomas's adopted daughter. So on Sundays, she insisted on cooking a private family meal for them.
"You are so very nice to me," Terry said one Sunday afternoon. "You pay me a very good salary, and you treat me as your very own daughter. Why do you do it?"
"We were never blessed with children of our own," Thomas explained. "And we always wanted a daughter. We feel like you're our daughter. Plus, you're a terrific cook."
Suddenly, they heard a knock at the door. "Who is it?," called Thomas.
"My name is Ted," replied the voice. "The Lord sent me to talk to you. I was driving by, I smelled this heavenly food, and the Lord directed me to talk with you."
"Won't you join us for lunch?," Tabitha asked. "We always welcome a stranger."
"I have a very unique proposition for you," said Ted. "I want to provide the money you need to keep the restaurant open. How many customers do you have every week?"
"Probably about 1,000," said Tabitha.
"The Lord wants you to continue giving away the meals," said Ted. "And He wants me to write you a monthly check to cover operating expenses , plus a profit."
By the end of the long, relaxing lunch, Ted felt like he was a member of the family. "I just have two simple requests," he said. "The first request is to eat lunch with your family every Sunday. And please don't allow me to fill my plate more than twice. The four helpings I had today were more than I can handle!"
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of July 12, 2009
Young man insists on daily
visits with his physician
By Greg Miller
Although he was only 21 years old, Rex insisted on seeing his family physician, Dr. Bart, every day.
Rex convinced Dr. Bart’s secretary to schedule him for a 4 p.m. appointment Monday-Friday. He never missed an appointment, and Dr. Bart, who had just opened his practice, was glad to have Rex as a patient.
Dr. Bart didn’t want to pry into his patients’ personal lives, but he couldn’t understand why Rex insisted on seeing him every day. “He doesn’t need to visit me every single day,” Dr. Bart said to his assistant, Nurse Kathy. “He’ll do fine if he just has his annual checkup and comes to see me when he’s actually sick.”
“Well, Doc, you do have a great personality,” Nurse Kathy said. “Maybe Rex realizes that you are his friend, and he enjoys your company. Plus, his insurance company says that it is important that every patient be fully satisfied with their coverage, and they are willing to pay for his daily visits.”
“And a daily patient will be more healthy than those who don‘t see me as frequently,” observed Dr. Bart. “I can usually spot symptoms before the patients see them, so that makes their illnesses less severe and shorter in duration.
“I have talked to Rex about his eating habits, and he seems to have a very healthy diet,” said Dr. Bart. “I have found that Rex doesn’t like apples. I wonder if that fact has anything to do with his daily visits to see me.”
“That could very well be the case,” said Nurse Kathy. “I’ll make it a point to ask him tomorrow when he arrives for his appointment.”
The following day, Rex arrived for his appointment about 15 minutes ahead of schedule. As was normal procedure at Dr. Bart’s office, Nurse Kathy checked Rex’s blood pressure level and pulse rate, which were both great.
“Dr. Bart tells me that you eat very healthy foods, and he is pleased at how well you take care of yourself,” said Nurse Kathy. “But why do you want to see the doctor every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday? Dr. Bart says you don’t eat apples. Is there a special reason that apples are not included in your diet? I mean, after all, apples are as American as…apple pie.”
“Nurse Kathy, the truth is that I am allergic to apples,” said Rex. “I can’t eat apples, apple pie, apple turnovers, apple jelly…nothing with even a small piece of apple.”
“Allergic to apples, huh? I’ve never heard of anyone being allergic to apples.”
“I’ve heard that an apple a day will keep the doctor away,” said Rex. So I figure if I see the doctor every day, it will keep all the apples away!”
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of July 5, 2009
Supermarket owner offers
partnership to customer
By Greg Miller
Sandra owned and operated a supermarket in a small town in rural America.
After Sandra’s Supermarket became successful beyond her wildest dreams, she decided to begin spending more of her time traveling around the country. Sandra had never been outside her home state of Tennessee, and she dreamed of visiting all 50 states. She also began thinking about starting another business, because she wanted to provide more jobs for Tennessee.
Sandra worked as a night-shift cashier at the supermarket three days a week. She had owned the business for several years and knew all of her regular customers by name. She realized that she was going to miss the interaction she had with each of these special friends.
Sandra had not yet made a decision about who to bring in as her new partner. She made a list of family members and potential investors and called all of them. Not a single person expressed an interest in becoming her business partner. Sandra knew, however, that God was going to lead her to the right person.
One evening, Sandi, the owner of Sandi’s Spaghetti Smorgasbord, came into the store. Sandi bought all of the ingredients for her famous Sandi’s Spaghetti Sauce from Sandra’s Supermarket, because she knew that the store sold only the freshest and finest foods.
“Hi, Sandra,” said Sandi. “What‘s happening?”
“Everything is great,” Sandra replied. “I only have one little problem. I’m looking for someone who will be my partner here at the supermarket, so I can spend more time discovering the beauty of America. I’m also thinking about starting another business.”
“What about me?,” Sandi asked. “I’ve been thinking about branching out a little myself. I’d be proud to be your partner.”
“I’m selling 49 percent of the business for $49,000,” Sandra said. “And you’ll need to hire someone to work the hours I’ve been working every week.”
“When do you need the $49,000?,” asked Sandi.
“Anytime in the next week or so would be great,” Sandra replied.
“I’ll write a check to you tomorrow,” Sandi said. “By the way, you mentioned something about starting another business. What do you have in mind?”
“I think I’ll start a restaurant whose signature sandwich will be a spaghetti burger that is topped with plenty of fresh vegetables,” Sandra said. “My restaurant will located in a nearby town, so it won't be competing with Sandi’s Spaghetti Smorgasbord.”
“I’d like to recommend a great little supermarket for all of the supplies for your new business venture,” Sandi chuckled. “I hear that the store has a great new co-owner.”
“My restaurant's manager will be shopping here on a regular basis, so don’t forget to give them their frequent shopper discount,” laughed Sandra. “I’ll be traveling a lot, and I won’t be here to remind you!”
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of June 28, 2009
Stressed-out reporter wants
to become a physician
By Greg Miller
Robin the Resourceful Reporter fulfilled numerous roles for a large daily newspaper.
Robin did her job very well, and her bosses continually rewarded her efforts with even more job responsibilities. Initially, Robin was employed as the newspaper's entertainment reporter. After a couple of years, she was asked to take on the added responsibility of society editor.
Robin was a hard worker, but eventually the stress reached a point that she decided to change careers. “I'm so stressed out that my health is starting to deteriorate,” she told her husband, Robio.
Every evening after she left work , Robin went home and prepared dinner for Robio, the couple's son, Robee, and herself. After Robin and Robio washed the dishes, the family spent about an hour doing various activities, then Robin invested about an hour performing Internet job searches.
She investigated numerous careers, considering the number of average hours worked in a day, salary, benefits, and job satisfaction. Robin was also interested in reducing the amount of job-related stress.
Robin grinned at the prospect of working as a hamburger cook at a local restaurant. “That would be a lot of fun, but it's a minimum wage job, and I'm helping to feed a family with a maximum appetite,” she told Robio.
Since she had an outgoing personality, Robin thought she might do a good job as a professional sales person. Robin then realized that being a salesperson would involve rejection of herself and/or the product(s) she was selling, and she didn't want to have to deal with the rejection.
“I've got it!,” Robin exclaimed. “I'll become a stand-up comedian. I'm good at making people laugh. Sometimes, I even laugh at myself. But I think I‘ll wait until I retire to go into that field.”
Robio offered a suggestion to Robin. “Why don't you enter the medical field?,” he asked. “You could provide the type of dedicated care that people need and deserve.”
“That is a wonderful idea!,” Robin replied. “I could work as a Certified Nurses Assistant, a nurse, or a technician.”
“All of those professions are worthy callings,” Robio said. “And eventually you might earn a pretty good salary. You could even study to become a doctor.”
“Then it's settled,” Robin said. “I will take classes to become a CNA, then become a nurse. Eventually, I will become a family doctor. I think doctors make really good money, and I don't think they have nearly as much stress as I do.
“After they go to school for a few years, all they do every day is see each of their patients for a few minutes, write a prescription for them and say, ‘Have a nice day!”
“Maybe you should shelve the idea of becoming a doctor and let me begin scheduling some comedy gigs for you right now!,” chuckled Robio.
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of June 21, 2009
Unborn baby wants to
become professional thief
By Greg Miller
Everyone who knew Esther could tell that she was extremely happy that she was going to have a baby.
"I have dedicated my son, Elijah, to the Lord," Esther said. "When he grows up, he will accomplish great exploits for God!
"I think he may become a great preacher or a well-known Christian singer!"
A couple of months later, when Esther was six months pregnant, she and her husband, Elisha, were on their way home after the Sunday morning worship service. The radio's smooth Christian music was interrupted by a soft, "Hi, Mom and Dad! Would you mind changing the station to something geared more to us in the younger generation!?"
"Esther, I thought I just heard someone ask us to change radio stations," said Elisha. "But we're the only ones in the car."
"That was Elijah, our son," said Esther. "He and I had a nice conversation last night. I almost thought I was dreaming. He told me that he was going to talk to us today after church."
"So, how are you doing this afternoon, Son?," asked Elisha, as he tuned the radio to a Christian station with a more contemporary sound.
"I'm great, Dad!," exclaimed Elijah, his feet tapping to the music. "And thanks for changing stations for me."
"While we're having this little discussion today, there is something specific I want to talk to you about," said Elisha.
"What's that, Dad?"
"I know you haven't been born yet, but you're my son, and I'd like to give you a bit of a head start in life. So, I'd like to talk to you about your career options."
"And we have already dedicated you to God, so your career needs to be one that will honor and glorify the Lord," said Esther. "I'm thinking about you becoming a pastor, evangelist, youth leader, music director, or a Christian actor."
"How about you, Dad? Do you have any ideas on a career that will be the best for me?," asked Elijah.
"My ideas would tend to be more secular in nature," said Elisha. "A field like information technology or science. But even if you work in a secular job, you'll still have lots of opportunities to serve God."
"I'm glad to hear you say that, Dad, because I guess you might say that I'm interested in a secular field. I want to be a professional thief."
"I professional thief?," gasped Esther.
"Yes, Mom, a professional thief. Dad, you know how you always watch professional baseball games on Sunday afternoons after church? Well, I've been listening in, and I'm sort of thinking about a pro baseball career. I want to be the all-time stolen-base king!"
For a couple of seconds, Elijah gave his mother s a couple of unusual kicks. "What's that all about?," she asked.
"I'm just practicing sliding into second base!," Elijah laughed.
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of June 14, 2009
For Bible salesman, the
soul is the real goal
By Greg Miller
Brandon the Bible Salesman was very good at selling copies of the Bible.
Brandon’s personality was very pleasing, and when he asked someone to purchase a Bible from him, most potential customers wasted little time in purchasing a Bible.
Brandon was so successful that his boss, Broderik, only had one complaint: After Brandon made the sale, he always made sure the customer knew about all of the Bible’s special features, such as concordances, dictionaries, and study helps.
Broderik finally laid down the law to Brandon. “Begin spending less time in customer service, or I‘ll fire you!,” Broderik demanded.
“But I’m your most successful salesman!,” Brandon objected.
Broderik was a Christian, but he occasionally needed an attitude adjustment. “You’re spending too much time on service after the sale,” he said. “I want to see your sales numbers jump through the roof. I’m giving you one week to restore my faith in you as my best salesman, or you are history!”
Since Brandon’s work ethic demanded that he work equally hard all of the time, for the next seven days he actually spent more time providing customer service.
With each passing day, Brandon could see that Broderik was becoming more upset with the amount of time he was spending with the customer service part of his job. “I need to think of a way to get the boss to think about things from my point of view,” he thought to himself.
With only one day left before the arrival of Broderik‘s deadline, Brandon finally came up with the answer. “I’ll sell a Bible to Broderik,” he said. “Then he will value the importance of customer service.”
Right after the shop opened the following day, Brandon approached Broderik and asked: “Sir, it has been quite some time since you purchased a new Bible, hasn’t it?”
“Yes, it has,” Broderik acknowledged.
“Since we have no customers at the moment, I can sell one to you right now,” Brandon offered.
“Way to go!,” Broderik said. “I thought you had overlooked me as a potential customer.” Within just a few minutes, the sale was finalized.
“I do have one question about this particular Bible,” Broderik said. “How long is the warranty on this Bible?”
“You’ve managed the store long enough to know that every Bible is guaranteed to be a life changer forever,” Brandon said. “The only catch is the Bible’s owner has to read it often for the warranty to have the most impact.”
Broderik realized that he had other questions about the Bible he was purchasing. For some strange reason, Broderik was Brandon’s only customer all day long. Brandon was so successful in the customer service part of his job that Broderik changed his mind about firing his most productive employee.
“Now I realize the value of customer service!,” Broderik chuckled.
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of June 7, 2009
Young boy aspires to ministry,
practice preaches to wildlife
By Greg Miller
William was a seven-year-old boy who lived in a small southern American town.
William told his mother, Wanda, and his dad, Wayne, that he wanted to be a minister when he grew up. “Our pastor is such a great preacher,” William said.
“Pastor Walter certainly knows the Word of God,” said Wanda.
“And he lives a life that is holy before the Lord,” said Wayne.
While other kids spent their summer days shooting basketball or attending various camps, William invested his time practice preaching to the small animals that lived in the park near his home.
Like pastor Walter, William’s practice preaching style was conversational and to-the-point. “You must be born again!,” William addressed a squirrel one day.
Willie the Squirrel was busy collecting nuts in his quest to provide food for his family for the winter. Not understanding the English language very well, Willie simply continued searching for his wintertime food supply. “This little boy is so cute!,” Willie said to himself in squirrel language.
The following day, William preached a short sermon to a little rabbit who was taking a leisurely hop through the park. “Jesus came so you could have an abundant life!,” William declared.
Since the park’s rabbits knew little more about the English language than the squirrels, Woodruffy the Rabbit did not acknowledge that William was speaking to him. “He does have a very pleasant speaking voice!,” Woodruffy thought.
William could sense that Woodruffy and Willie could not understand English. “I must teach them my language in order to practice preach to them,” William decided.
William began taking treats for Willie and Woodruffy. He tought them English, and he began learning their languages.
Because they were not human, Woodruffy and Willie didn’t understand William’s sermons, so William explained his messages to them.
William’s practice sermons, like those of Pastor Walter, addressed a variety of topics: Creation, Sin, Love, Mercy, Grace, Forgiveness, Peace, Joy, Prayer, the Person of Christ, the Sovereignty of God, and Baptism.
Over the years, in addition to learning to speak some English, Willie learned a little bit of rabbit talk. Woodruffy gained some knowledge of squirrel language. After one of William’s practice sermons, Willie and Woodruffy were discussing his style.
“William is becoming quite a communicator,” said Willie.
“He sure is,” Woodruffy agreed. “But since we’re not human, it’s hard for us to understand some of things he is preaching about.”
Willie observed, “William practice preaches often on the topic of baptism.”
“William says baptism is very important,” remarked Woodruffy.
“He says it is very important for those who want to follow Christ to be baptized,” said Willie. “But speaking from a squirrel’s point of view, I don’t want to be around very much water at one time. In fact, if it won’t fit into half a nutshell, it’s too much water for me!”
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of May 31, 2009
Musicians want to promote
global gospel music tour
By Greg Miller
One Christian young man and two Christian young women were best friends at their church, in their college classes and in a couple of community organizations.
All of them loved music in a variety of Christian genres, and because their passion for music was so great and they wanted to serve the Lord using their musical abilities, they decided to start a singing group and go on a worldwide tour.
The group began having weekly practice sessions, and they developed a sound that they loved. They alternated songs from the following Christian music genres: Soft Rock, Contemporary, Southern Gospel, Bluegrass and Country. "If we sing songs from all these different genres, we will draw more people to our concerts," reasoned Alex after one of the practice sessions.
"And that means more people that we can tell about the Lord Jesus," said Alexa.
"And a greater number of people who will believe in Jesus," said Alexia.
"That's right," said Alex. "I am so ready to begin our global concert tour that I am only sleeping about three hours each evening. And I am spending most of every waking moment generating ideas about how to promote the concerts."
What are some of your ideas?," asked Alexia.
"I think we should start an electronic newsletter and build a group of dedicated followers even before we have our first concert," Alex said. "As we start scheduling concerts, we can include the dates and starting times in the newsletter. We also need to develop a Web site so that people can search for information about us on the Internet.
"Once we get several performances under our belts, we should be getting some pretty good word-of-mouth advertising," Alex continued. "I also plan to run ads on radio, TV and in newspapers. And loads of great publicity will come our way as the result of a great-sounding CD."
"After we record that first CD, we should begin our own radio and TV program!," Alexa exclaimed.
"Yeah!," agreed Alexia. "The program can help us get the word out about our music! And the more people that hear our music means a greater number of individuals to whom we can proclaim the love of Jesus!"
Alexia paused for a moment. "We are moving our musical group forward a little too quickly," she said. "There are a couple of important matters that we must take care of before we can begin this global gospel music tour we're talking about."
"Like what?," asked Alex.
"For one thing, we haven't even given our group a name," Alexia said. "And we also have to actually schedule our first concert. We're talking about scheduling concerts nationwide and around the world, and we haven't even performed one concert in our own hometown!"
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of May 24, 2009
Woman decides to drink eight
glasses of water every day
By Greg Miller
Cheryl had made some changes in her lifestyle because she wanted to be a greater witness for the Lord.
Those changes included walking for about 30 minutes every day, eating more fresh fruits and vegetables, and losing about 40 troublesome pounds she had been promising to shed for more than 10 years. Cheryl knew that she needed to drink the proper amount of water to keep her body hydrated, so although she loved sweet tea and soft drinks she decided to drink water most of the time.
Cheryl treated herself to a cup of sweet tea to celebrate her decision. She dedicated the rest of her life to her new passion: Fresh water. She drank water with breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks. She drank a glass of sweet tea only about once a month.
Before long, Cheryl began to feel more energized and alert. “Water is almost like a miracle drug,” she said. “I’m going to ask my friends to join me on life’s journey with water.”
One Friday after work, Cheryl met her best friend, Carlissa, at the Mall for an evening of shopping and conversation. Carlissa noticed that two bottles of spring water were in Cheryl’s purse. “So when did you become so crazy about water?,” Carlissa asked.
“Just recently,” Cheryl said. “I wanted to be healthier, so I could be a better witness for the Lord. “This water is so great! I wish I had made my decision many years ago.”
“I couldn’t live without my sweet tea and soft drinks!,” Carlissa exclaimed. “I’d never be able to make it through the day without them!”
“I drink a lot of water because I want to be healthy,” Cheryl said. “But I also want to glorify Jesus Christ in every aspect of my life. When I’m on the job, I want to be a good testimony. When I’m engaged in leisurely activities, I want to glorify God.”
Cheryl told Carlissa that drinking lots of water made it much easier to share her faith in Christ with other people. “How can a simple glass of water help you to tell others about the Lord?,” Carlissa asked. “It’s tasteless, odorless, calorie-less. It has no redeeming social value.”
“Water helps us to thrive while we’re alive,” Cheryl replied. “And Jesus offers Living Water. In John, chapter 4, Jesus told the woman at the well that ‘whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.’”
“Wow!,” exclaimed Carlissa. “Only God could think of a concept like that!”
“You’ve got that right!,” Cheryl said. “And that’s the kind of water that could never be put in a bottle!”
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of May 17, 2009
Couple makes Jesus Christ
the king of their hearts
By Greg Miller
Jorge and Jillian had been married for five years when they asked Jesus Christ to forgive their sins and reside in their hearts.
The couple were baptized the following Sunday. They loved the Lord, and they wanted their lives to please Him. But they realized that there was room for continued improvement in their walk with God.
Jorge observed that he still had a problem with lying. Looking in her spiritual mirror, Jillian realized that pride was still trying to raise her ugly head.
The couple prayed about their problem and came up with the solution. “We’ve asked Jesus Christ to come into our hearts,” Jillian said. “But we’re doing some things that don’t honor Him as the Lord of our lives.”
“You’re right, Honey,” Jorge said. “Jesus is our savior, but we need His help in certain areas. We need for Him to be the King of our Hearts.”
“Wow!,” exclaimed Jillian. “Another of those ‘bright ideas’ light bulbs just turned on inside my brain!”
Jillian was known throughout the community for her “bright ideas,” some of which were a little dimmer than others.
“What’s your idea?,” Jorge asked.
“Let’s have a ceremony to officially make Jesus the King of our Hearts,” Jillian said. “We’ll ask the pastor to officiate, sort of like a wedding ceremony, and invite a few friends. It will also give us an opportunity to share our faith with some friends who aren’t Christians.”
The couple made a list of everyone that they wanted to invite to the ceremony. Before long, they realized that their home would not hold the large number of people. Jorge asked their church’s minister, Pastor Jackison, if the ceremony could be held in the mega-church’s fellowhip hall. They asked him if he would write special vows that they could recite to the Lord.
The couple felt their “Day of Commitment” would be one of the most well- attended events in the town’s history. Jillian submitted a news release to the local newspaper, inviting the entire community. Nearly 1,000 people showed up for the special event.
Jorge and Jillian recited their vows, each promising to worship and obey Jesus Christ as the Lord of their lives in every way. “I promise not to lie again,” said Jorge.
“And I won’t be prideful anymore,” said Jillian.
After the closing prayer, Pastor Jackison invited attendees to stay for refreshments. Everyone stopped by to congratulate Jorge and Jillian for taking such a courageous stand for the Lord.
One of their friends, Jorg E. Anna, said, “It’s great that you decided to make Jesus Christ the Lord of your life. But I was just wondering why you had such a big get together with refreshments and everything.”
Jorge responded, “The reason is simple. As Pastor Jackison has taught us for the last five years. Anything worth doing is worth doing right!”
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of May 10, 2009
Taking Bible to school
transforms students' lives
By Greg Miller
Joseph, a second-grader, was glad that summer would soon arrive, because he was looking forward to several weeks of fishing with his father.
In one way, however, Joseph was sad that school was ending. He had recently asked Jesus to come into his heart, and he was excited about sharing his newfound faith with his friends.
Joseph decided that he would take his Bible to school on the final day of classes. He entered the school bus, sat in his assigned seat and began reading the Bible.
“What are you reading?,” asked Joshua, who was sitting next to him.
“I am reading about the life of Jesus in the Bible,” Joseph said.
“You’re a pretty good reader, aren’t you?,” Joshua asked. “How about reading to all of us?”
“Certainly,” replied Joseph, who turned to the first chapter of Genesis and began reading about God creating the earth.
By the time Joseph finished reading the story of Creation, the bus pulled into the school parking lot. “Thanks for reading God’s Word to us,” Joshua said. “When school starts again next year, how about reading to us every day? We can learn more about God, and the time we spend riding to school will pass much quicker.”
At the end of the day, Joseph read the story of Noah building the ark. “I’m already looking forward to the beginning of school next year,” said Joshua.
Joseph and his dad, John, invited Joshua to go on several of their summer fishing trips. While they waited for the fish to bite, Joseph read Bible stories to his father and Joshua.
As the long, hot, humid days of summer came to a close, school got underway once again. On the first day of school, Joseph took his Bible with him. During the year, he read stories of Creation, the Flood, Daniel and the Lions’ Den, David and Goliath, Jesus’ virgin birth, sinless life, miracles, healings, Crucifixion, death on the cross, burial, the Resurrection, and Ascension into heaven.
As the school year came to a close, Joseph and Joshua began talking about God’s will for their lives. “I believe that God wants us to become evangelists and share His love with the entire world,” said Joseph.
“I have been thinking the same thing,” Joshua said.
“Today is the final day of school, and we haven’t discussed any plans for this summer,” said Joseph. “Do you want to spend the summer fishing again?”
“I’ve been thinking about what we should do this summer,” said Joshua. “And if we are serious about becoming evangelists, I believe we should spend the summer telling people about God’s love.”
“That sounds great to me!,” exclaimed Joseph. “But we’ll still be fishing; we’ll just be fishing for people to come to Jesus!”
“And we won’t have to drown a single worm to do it!,” laughed Joshua.
“Or married worms either!,” Joseph chuckled.
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of May 3, 2009
Moms don’t always get
a good night’s sleep
By Greg Miller
Only a few short weeks had passed since the angel Gabriel had told Mary that she was going to become a mother.
After the angel’s announcement, Mary could think of nothing but God‘s message to her. She sang to the Lord songs of joy and thankfulness.
Mary remembered Gabriel‘s words, “Hail, thou that art highly favored, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women.” The angel told her that she had “found favor with God.”
Gabriel said that Jesus, Mary’s Son, “shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David: And he shall reign over the house of Jacob for ever; and of his kingdom there shall be no end.
“The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee , and the power of the Highest shall overshadow thee: therefore also that holy thing which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God.”
Early in Mary’s pregnancy, she began talking with one of her closest friends, Lydia, who also was going to have a baby.
While Mary and Lydia were on their daily walks, they talked about being a good mother.
“Do you want a boy or a girl?,” Mary asked.
“Either is fine with me,” Lydia said. “I just want the baby to be healthy. Do you want a boy or a girl?”
“God’s angel appeared to me and told me I’m going to have a son!,” Mary beamed.
“That’s great!,” Lydia exclaimed. “What else did the angel say?”
“That is all I’ll say for right now,” Mary grinned. “But I will tell you that I plan to be a good mother. I will pray for Him every day. I will share God’s Word with Him and teach Him the ways of God. I want to make sure that my Son is very close to the Father.”
“I‘m going to be a good mother, too,” Lydia said. “I’m going to bathe my baby every day, and give him or her all the opportunities for a great life that I can. My child will be special.”
“My son will be special, too,” Mary replied with a smile. “Very special!”
“Being a good mother is important,” Lydia said. “And I feel a mother should get enough sleep every night. I hope my baby always sleeps through the night, so I can get the rest I need in order to provide proper care.”
“I realize the need of getting a good night’s sleep in order to properly care for my son,” Mary said. “But babies don’t always sleep through the night, so I realize that there will be some days that just won’t be possible. On those days, I’ll probably be fulfilling my motherly duties while half asleep!”
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of April 26, 2009
Mouse pastor coins humorous
poetic prayer for blessing
By Greg Miller
Mr. Chester “Cheddar” CheeseMouse couldn’t get enough of his favorite cheese.
“Cheddar” loved cheddar cheese for breakfast, lunch and dinner. He loved cheddar cheese omelets, cheddar cheese pot pies, cheddar cheese soup, cheddar cheese sandwiches, cheddar cheese casserole (a huge amount of cheddar cheese with a little macaroni thrown in), cheddar cheese ice cream, and cheddar cheese milkshakes.
“I really, really love my cheddar!,” said “Cheddar.” “With every bite, it gets better and better!”
As much as “Cheddar” loved eating cheddar cheese in its various shapes, sizes and flavors, he loved fellowshipping with other mice who attended the Cheddar MouseOplis Church of Perfect Cheeze even more. Every Sunday, following the morning worship service, “Cheddar” asked a different family from the congregation to accompany him home for lunch.
The church's minister, MousePastor Bobby, was a frequent Sunday afternoon lunch guest at “Cheddar’s” Mousehole Apartment.
“Cheddar” prepared great meals for his guests, who always expressed surprise that their host was such an accomplished cook.
One Sunday, MousePastor Bobby asked “Cheddar,” “What is your secret to preparing such good food?”
“I was always taught to honor and obey my mom and dad, and I assisted mom when she was preparing our meals,” “Cheddar” replied. “If she said to put a ‘pinch’ of salt into the macaroni, I always added a ‘pinch’ of salt. If she said to add ‘half a pinch’ of pepper into the cheese soup… ‘half a pinch’ was what I carefully measured into the pot. Mom was the top mouse chef in our neighborhood for many years, and I guess her talent kind of rubbed off on me.”
“You certainly put your best effort into preparing these meals,” said MousePastor Bobby. “And when you combine your cooking skills with a good attitude, you truly honor the Lord.”
When the meal was ready, “Cheddar” asked his guest to take the position of honor at the head of the table.
“Thanks, ‘Cheddar,’” MousePastor Bobby said, as he sat in the place reserved for him. “You are always so very kind to me when I visit your home.”
“I believe that a pastor deserves all of the honor and respect that I can show him,” said “Cheddar.” “I treat every pastor as a guest of honor. Who knows? One day, I may be hosting an angel.”
“Cheddar” asked MousePastor Bobby to say the blessing before they ate.
MousePastor Bobby loved to pray poetic prayers, which he hoped would also offer a bit of humor as the fellowship began. “Thank you, Lord, for you are great,” he prayed. “Thank you, Lord, for the food on the plate. Praise the Lord, praise Him, please. Praise the Lord, and pass the cheese!!”
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of April 19, 2009
Bank only opens savings
accounts for patient smilers
By Greg Miller
The Board of Directors of the First Happy Face Bank of Smilers believed that one way to stimulate the nation's economy for future generations was for the current generation to make regular savings account deposits for them.
By the time those grandchildren and great-grandchildren were adults; the savings accounts would have huge balances. And those account holders would be able to retire early.
Murphy, a local resident, decided to open an account at the First Happy Face Bank of Smilers. Murphy patiently waited his turn in line. He was confident about his decision to open a savings account at the financial institution, which had come to be known as the "happy bank."
After only a few moments, Murphy walked the few remaining steps to open his account with Matilda, who greeted him with a broad smile and a hearty, "Good afternoon, Sir. How may I be of service to you today?"
"I'd like to open one of those 'future generations' accounts," Murphy said as he introduced himself. "The account is for my grandson. I am giving instructions for him to take 25 percent of the money he will receive on his 55th birthday and open an account for his grandson similar to the one I am opening today."
"Great idea!, Murphy," Matilda exclaimed. "You're setting a good example and expecting future generations to follow your lead. How much will you be depositing today?"
"My first deposit will be $100, and I plan to deposit that amount every month for the rest of my life. My grandson is only one year old, so by the time he is 55, he will have quite a substantial nest egg. He will use half to live on. He will use 25 percent to open an account for future generations. And I am requesting that he gives 25 percent to help finance Christian missionary work around the world."
The First Happy Face Bank of Smilers was proud to be known as a Christian-owned bank. In the bank's lobby, a huge sign proclaimed, "Do Unto Others as You Would Have Them Do Unto You!"
"That sign is wonderful!," exclaimed Murphy. "Those words have had a profound impact on the entire world!"
"And if all of our depositors had the same foresight that you do, the whole world would be evangelized much more quickly," Matilda observed.
"May I please have my account number now?," asked Murphy. "I must hurry back to work."
"Sure," Matilda said. "I just need one more thing to complete your application."
"What's that?," asked Murphy.
"You forgot to give me the $100 to open the account!," laughed Matilda.
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
Rays of Son column for the week of April 12, 2009
God deserves all the credit
By Greg Miller
Pastor Cheze Luvre, the minister of the First Church of Cheese Heaven, was always looking for ways to draw unchurched mice into the fold.
"I am a mouse on a mission," said Pastor Cheze Luvre. "Every mouse must hear about the Lord's goodness."
One day while thinking of new ideas to attract unchurched mice into the First Church of Cheese Heaven, Pastor Cheze Luvre came up with an idea that he said would revolutionize his Missions to Mice Missionary Ministry. "I'll set up a preaching tour across America to give mice nationwide an opportunity to hear me preach about God's wonderful love," he said.
Within two weeks, the special meetings began. The first service was held at the Heavenly Chezee Church, a large mega-mouse church in CheezeOpolis.
"Brothers and Sisters, I am here to tell you how much God loves you!," Pastor Cheze Luvre shouted. " We need to thank Him for every breath we take and for every bite of cheese we eat.
"Most of the time, we take God's blessings for granted, and we actually think we deserve those blessings," Pastor Cheze Luvre said.
The visiting minister then exhorted his listeners, "Brothers and Sisters, we must not accept the credit for God's blessings. This morning, I want to publicly ask the Lord to forgive me for not giving Him the proper credit for all of the good things He sends my way."
Heavenly Chezee Church Pastor Ham N. Swiss showed his appreciation for the great message by inviting Pastor Cheze Luvre to his house for lunch. While Pastor Ham N. Swiss's wife, Mrs. Pastor Ham N. Swiss, prepared the meal, the host pastor gave Pastor Cheze Luvre, a bachelor, a tour of the house.
Pastor Ham N. Swiss seemed to have forgotten the message he had just heard. "I purchased this gorgeous furniture with royalties I received from my inventions to improve the world's mouse food safety," he said in the living room.
In the kitchen, Pastor Ham N. Swiss showed his guest the new refrigerator, designed to preserve the aroma and flavor of six different types of cheeses. "I used money from the sale of this invention to finance a Caribbean vacation," he said.
"You seem to be taking all of the credit for your accomplishments," said Pastor Cheze Luvre. "Where does God fit into the picture?"
"Actually, God gets all of the credit," Pastor Ham N. Swiss acknowledged. "Every time I ask the bank for a loan to finance one of my new ventures, the Lord is right there with me. Thanks to Him, the bank always gives me all the credit I need!"
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Greg Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Johnson City, Tennessee. He also works as the religion editor of a daily newspaper in northeast Tennessee. To contact Miller for preaching and after dinner speaking engagements, puppet ministry, etc., please e-mail him at kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com or visit http://raysofsoncolumn.webs.com.
